Hanging up the horns, round 2

Back in June, with my average daytime pumping output down to maybe an ounce a day, I decided drop my one pumping session. The pumping session was solely to keep my supply up and put milk in the freezer for donation, since Noob was drinking whole milk exclusively during the day, so it was no problem to drop that session. I dropped off my last milk bank donation shortly afterwards.

At the time, I was also pumping while on business trips. I'm currently on my third business trip in two months. On the first one, in mid-June, I brought my pump, but only pumped 3 ounces over two days. On the second one, two weeks ago, I brought my pump just in case, but ended up pumping only once, for a measly half an ounce. Back home, Noob did fine with no breastmilk.

So, last Tuesday, after dropping Littles off at preschool, I drove to the parking lot of a local 7-Eleven. There, I met up with the mom of a nine-month-old who is unable to nurse, who I had found through Eats on Feets. I handed over the remainder of my freezer stash, mostly milk pumped on business trips and therefore not frozen within the 24-hour window required by the milk bank. I really enjoyed meeting the mom whose baby would benefit from my milk. Donating to the milk bank has been great, but very anonymous.

Anyway. That donation meant I was officially hanging up the horns. I did not bring my pump on my trip this week.

When I reached this point with Littles, I wrote about a recent discussion over whether women should feel proud for breastfeeding their child, since after all, women have been breastfeeding for millenia. I said that I did feel proud, because women have not been pumping for millenia, and pumping was hard work!

I feel differently this time. Sure, I'm pleased that Noob is among only 10% of babies who are still breastfed at 1 year of age. But as I've explained in previous posts, I really didn't have to do a whole lot of pumping for him. He was home with family till just before his first birthday, and I work from home, so I mostly nursed him directly. And yes, women have been doing that for millenia. Not really an accomplishment, like something I should be really proud of doing.

I'm also pleased that I was able to donate over 400 oz of breastmilk (340 oz to the milk bank and a little over 90 oz direct to the mom I met last week). But again, I don't really feel like that's a special accomplishment. Women have been wet-nursing for millenia, too, and aside from my European adventures, it was really pretty easy to fit the extra pumping sessions into my day.

I am proud, and very very lucky, to work in a job and for a company that made breastfeeding so easy. Every woman should have the opportunity to breastfeed as long as she wants, even if she returns to work. It makes me sad that so many women find themselves in work situations that are not conducive or even openly hostile to pumping. It's just not right.

I'm also thankful that I still have the opportunity to nurse Noob. He's an early riser, usually waking up between 6-6:30 AM, and I am… well, not an early riser :) So most mornings, I get him out of his crib, bring him in bed with me, latch him on as we're both lying down, and catch a few extra minutes of sleep while he nurses. I love it, and I'm in no rush to end it.

But I do love the fact that this morning, I was able to go for a 30-minute jog on a beautiful trail next to a river, rather than spending 30 minutes pumping. It's been a great run, but I'm glad to be done.

Adventures in pumping, European edition

Just from a quick peek at my tag cloud, it's obvious that I have quite a bit of experience with pumping while traveling. So when I found out I had to go on a business trip to Munich, Germany, I wasn't particularly worried about pumping during it. How much different could it be?

It turned out to be quite the adventure :)

Before the trip
This trip was for a large meeting with some business affiliates that are based in Europe. To keep costs down, most attendees shared hotel rooms. This poses obvious problems for me with needing to pump, so I contacted the group in charge of organizing the meeting ahead of time to let them know that I'd need a place to pump and also a refrigerator in my room.

(As a quick aside: I have shared a hotel room while pumping, on two trips earlier this year with the lacrosse team that I coach outside of work. I had to coordinate with my roommates so that I could take over the bathroom a few times a day. Certainly not preferable, but it did work out.)

I felt a little awkward, especially since the main organizer was a man. But the other four members of the group were women, so I figured at least one of them had to have breastfed at some point.

There was a moment of confusion when the male organizer thought that I meant I was bringing Noob with me -- as in, bringing him into the actual meetings! He gently suggested that I might want to have someone to watch him during the day! I reassured him that it would just be me and my trusty breast pump, and he made the proper accommodations.

The outbound trip
I flew to Munich via London. My outbound flight left at about 9:45 PM on Sunday, so I was able to nurse Noob normally all day Sunday before getting on the plane.

I opted not to pump at all on the trip to Munich. Noob nurses little enough now that I'm not in discomfort if I go for a while without nursing/pumping, and it was much easier not having to deal with pumping on the plane. I might have tried to pump during my layover in London, but as it turns out, my director (my boss's boss) was on my flight from Dallas. We ended up chatting for most of the layover. It was nice not having to find an excuse to slip away to pump.

In Germany
I arrived in Munich a little before 6 PM local time (11 AM Dallas time) on Monday, about 18 hours since my last nursing session. I eagerly got my pump out... and realized that despite all my careful planning, I had forgotten one very important thing: A converter to allow my pump's AC adapter to run on European voltage. Oops.

Normally, I would have been able to use my pump's battery pack, which I always leave in my pump bag. The suction isn't the best, but it would have allowed me to pump enough to stay comfortable while I searched for a converter. Unfortunately, I had pulled the pump part of my Medala PISA out of the larger bag for this trip, to save on space in my jam-packed suitcase.

I quickly searched Medela's web site (in German, of course!) and figured out that there were a few "apothekes" (drug stores) in the area that were affiliated with Medela in some way.

I set off for the nearest one, which was in a shopping area directly underneath my hotel. It was a tiny shop, so I was surprised to see that they did have a sizeable display of pump parts and other breastfeeding supplies. They did not have any PISA adapters... but they did have an Avent manual pump available. These retail for around $30 in the USA. At this store, it cost €61.99 (just under $90).

Whoa.

But I was already late for a meeting, and I knew that the store would be closed by the time it was over. I didn't have time to shop around for the best price, nor did I want to wait to pump until it reopened the next morning. So I bought it.

I had trouble at first because the Avent only comes with a standard size (24mm) breast shield. I typically use a large (27mm) or extra large (30mm) shield with my PISA, so the smaller shield was very uncomfortable. But I found that I was able to insert the larger Medela shield into the Avent shield. It didn't look pretty, but it worked! This is not the greatest picture, but you get the idea. The clear plastic (and the white handle) is the Avent stuff and the cloudier plastic is the Medela shield:

Once I got that figured out, I actually liked pumping with the Avent. I got a decent amount of milk, and it didn't take much longer than pumping with the PISA. Actually, when Littles was the same age that Noob is now, I had retired my PISA and was pumping with a manual pump (Medela Harmony) on all my business trips. It might be time to retire the PISA again! The PISA bag takes up nearly half of my rollaboard suitcase -- compared to the Avent, which is just what you see above -- so it would be nice to get that space back.

Anyway. The Avent turned out to be so effective that I ran into another problem: I ran out of room for all the milk I pumped! I didn't bring milk storage bags (I had forgotten them, too, in my PISA bag -- yeah, I don't know where my brain was when I was packing!) and so by Thursday morning, I was down to my last storage bottle. I looked at a couple of stores to find some sort of container for my milk, and eventually saw the following box on a shelf at a different drug store:

Based solely on the picture, I quickly discerned that this box contained something breastfeeding-related, and then I read the (tiny) English text to confirm that it did indeed contain breastmilk storage bags. So that picture was a very effective advertisement! But I don't think it would fly in the USA, because it shows -- gasp! -- a naked breast! Funny how different things are in Germany :)

On Friday, with all that milk pumped and safely stored, it was time to head home.

The return trip
I had brought a small cooler bag to carry the milk home, along with a box full of sandwich size Ziploc baggies. I got the hotel bartender to fill up a baggie with some ice, then put it in the cooler bag with the milk before heading to the airport.

It just so happens that the male organizer of the meeting was on my flight from Munich back to London. I had met him during the meeting itself. He turned out to be a jovial older British man, quite open and likeable. As we were waiting to clear security, he said, "I just have to ask, because we were all wondering. I understand that you have a baby and that you had to pump milk. But what was the refrigerator for?"

I was confused by the question... "To keep the milk cold." Duh?

Him: "You're actually bringing it home with you?"

Me: "Yep. It's right here in my backpack."

Him: "It will last that long without refrigeration?"

Me: "Yes, it's in a cooler bag with ice, and anyway, it's good for about 10 hours at room temperature."

Him: "Wow! You learn something new every day!" Turns out that none of the female organizers have kids, so none of them had any clue about breastmilk pumping and storage :) Although one is pregnant now, so I guess she'll learn soon enough!

I was glad that the topic had come up prior to clearing security, because security turned out to be a pain. I got to the metal detectors, pulled out the cooler bag, and discreetly informed the security agent that it contained breastmilk.

Agent: "What?"

Me (a little louder): "Breastmilk."

Agent: "WHAT?"

Me: "BREASTMILK!"

So much for being discreet. At that moment, I was relieved that my director and his boss, who were flying out at the same time, had gone out of a different terminal and weren't with us at that security checkpoint. Nothing like discussing your bodily fluids in front of the people who control your promotions.

After that exchange, the agent directed me to put the cooler bag through the x-ray machine. This is something that I haven't been doing as of late when flying in the States, just to avoid any potential risks of exposing the milk to radiation. I simply tell TSA that it is "liquid medication" and they hand-scan it. But putting it through the x-ray machine is probably fine and I really didn't want to have the "liquid medication" discussion at that moment.

On the other side of the x-ray machine, another agent pulled the cooler bag off and said, "What is this?" in broken English. I replied, "Breastmilk," and she gave me a confused look. So I pulled an actual bag out, since the German-purchased bags helpfully had "breastmilk storage bags" printed on them in four different languages :) She gave me another confused look and said, "Where is your baby?"

Ummmmm, at home?

She called over a supervisor and we had the exact same conversation, including asking where my baby was. Eventually, they did a swab in the cooler bag and on the pump, to test for explosive residue. (TSA often does that in the USA, too.) When it came back clean, they sent me on my way.

Whew.

Just before boarding the flight, I asked at a small eatery for some more ice for the cooler bag. The cashier pointed to the front of the eatery and said "Ice." I was confused, as all I saw was a cooler for ice cream." The cashier was confused, too, and said, "Ice" again. "Ice cream, yes?" Ohhhhhh! I said, "No, I need actual ice" and she figured it out and gave me a cup full of it :)

And finally, my milk and I were safely on our way to London.

I had an overnight layover in London, which was good from a milk storage perspective, as it allowed me to dump out the ice and chill the milk safely into the fridge. The "fridge" in this room was actually the automated minibar, so I had to be very careful not to move stuff around, to avoid getting charged for it!

The next morning, I filled up two more baggies with ice at the hotel ice machine. I placed one at the bottom of the cooler bag, then put all the milk bags in, then put another baggie on top. This was at about 7 AM London time (1 AM Dallas time). Then I headed for the airport for the 10-hour flight back to Dallas.

I was a little nervous about clearing security in London. After all, Heathrow is the airport where the original liquid explosives plot was uncovered. But thankfully, compared to Munich, clearing security in London was a breeze. I did have the milk x-rayed again, but it didn't attract any extra attention.

On the flight, I was stuck in a window seat, so rather than disturbing my seatmate by getting up to ask for ice, I simply asked the flight attendants to give me a cup of ice whenever they came around doing beverage service. They were very accommodating. I kept the box of baggies in my seatback pocket, so I could dump the ice into a baggie and place it into the cooler bag, which I kept under the seat in front of me.

The milk was still nice and cold when I got home at around 2:30 PM Dallas time. The oldest milk was about 5 days old at this point, and had been refrigerated (not frozen) the entire time, but I did a quick sniff test and it smelled just fine. So into the freezer it went!

Overall, my first impressions were right: It really wasn't that much harder to pump while traveling internationally vs. domestically. But next time, I think I'll bring my pump's battery pack, my manual pump, and my milk storage bags :)

Where I pumped today (well, yesterday)

I was in my company's office in Los Angeles this week for a team offsite. On Wednesday, I pumped in the "quiet room," as this office calls it. Unfortunately, I forgot to take a picture, but it was a pretty standard setup with a couple of chairs and a power outlet.

On Thursday, I went to pump late in the day and discovered that the quiet room was locked. Fortunately, my teammates had all left for the day, and the conference room that we used all week had no interior windows and a locking door. So I just locked the door and used that room to pump.

Probably the best view I've ever had while pumping :)

Breastmilk donation

Pumping for Littles was such a stressful experience that I eagerly anticipated the day when I would able to stop. If you had told me back then that with my next child, I would not only continue pumping past his first birthday but would actually do it for other babies, I would have laughed in your face.

But that's exactly what I'm doing right now.

It all started about three months ago, on Facebook, of all places. My friend E, who has a son just a few months younger than Noob, posted that she had just become a breastmilk donor with the Mothers' Milk Bank of North Texas. I had heard of breastmilk donation before, but given that I have a very average milk supply (I've always made just enough to feed my nursling, not much extra), I never thought it was something I could actually do.

But when I looked into it in more detail, I found out I was wrong. The milk bank asks for a commitment to donate 100 ounces of breastmilk, which does not have to be all at once. I've always maintained a freezer stash of around 100 ounces for Noob to use when I travel on business. I figured that as he started cutting back on nursing past his first birthday, I could slowly cut back on my freezer stash (since I wouldn't need as much to cover him during my business travels) and donate the excess to the milk bank.

So I registered with the milk bank. It's a pretty straightforward process. I had to fill out some paperwork (asking about everything from my average caffeine consumption to the extent of my European travels) and get a blood test done. Everything was paid for by the milk bank. They even gave me collection bottles to use for donation.

It has turned out to be mutually beneficial. Obviously, the milk bank -- and more importantly, the preemies and other fragile babies that it serves -- benefits from getting my milk.

But it has worked out well for me, too. A few weeks after I signed up with the milk bank, Noob went on a nursing strike. For a full week, he only nursed first thing in the morning, and completely refused to nurse the rest of the day. I was worried that this was a sign that he was close to weaning fully, but I did want to keep my milk supply up, just in case he did decide to return to the breast. Thankfully, breastmilk donation gave me a great reason to keep on pumping through the nursing strike. I was able to bank up to 10 ounces of breastmilk each day during the strike. And when Noob did start nursing again, my milk supply was still there for him.

These days, my nursing/pumping schedule looks something like this:

At home - weekday	At home - weekend	While traveling
Morning - Noob nurses During the day - Noob gets a sippy cup of milk. We're working to transition him to whole milk; right now, he gets sippies that are about 1.5 oz breastmilk/4.5 oz whole milk. I pump to get milk for the next day. Any extra goes to the milk bank. Evening - Noob sometimes nurses when he gets home from his sitter's. Night - I pump again. All of this milk goes to the milk bank.	Morning - Noob nurses Late morning (after first nap) - Noob nurses Afternoon (after second nap) - Noob nurses Night - I pump for the milk bank.	I'm traveling this week and following this schedule: Morning - Noob gets a 6 oz bottle of thawed breastmilk. I pump. During the day - Noob gets a sippy of breastmilk/whole milk. I pump. Night - I pump. Since I'm cutting back on my freezer stash, I plan to donate all the milk I pumped this week. On future trips, I may need to use the pumped milk to replenish my freezer stash for the next trip, but whatever I don't need will get donated.

At this late point in Noob's nursing career, I'm not sure how much longer my supply will hold up, but as long as it's still here, I'm taking full advantage of it.

I just dropped off about 150 ounces at the milk bank last weekend. And I haven't even really started cutting back on my freezer stash yet, so I think I'll be able to donate at least 100 ounces more before it's all said and done.

Here's my donated milk all packed up and ready to go. Yes, those are wine bags -- E's brilliant idea for transporting the milk :)

 

Not bad for someone with a very average milk supply :)

Interested in donating?
I know most working moms do maintain a freezer stash, so I really encourage everyone to look into donating it when you're done pumping, even if you don't pump specifically to donate, like I'm doing. There may be a milk bank in your area, but if not, see if you can work with a more distant milk bank. I know the Mothers' Milk Bank of North Texas provides shipping containers and reimburses dry ice purchases for moms who need to ship their milk.

There is also Eats on Feets, which helps moms who have breastmilk find nearby moms who need breastmilk. Direct "milk sharing" is free from the minimum donation requirements and other hoops that milk bank donors must jump through. I'm considering donating some of my milk in this way, as the milk bank's pumping requirements are more stringent (because the milk goes to very sick babies) and not all of my pumped milk meets those requirements. Mostly, it's hard for me to freeze milk within 24 hours when I'm traveling, as the milk bank requires. The milk is still perfectly safe for healthy infants (after all, Noob drinks it :), so if I can find a baby who could use it, I might go that route.

Every pumping mom knows that breastmilk is liquid gold. Better for it to go to a baby than down the drain!

Where I pumped today

I'm up in Seattle this week, for the same semi-annual technical training conference that I attended back in July, shortly after my return to work. This time, though, Hubby is not attending, so I'm all alone up here -- he's back home with the kids.

Again, the conference kicked off with a Sunday session. Thankfully, this time, they opted to do it at one of my company's offices, rather than at Benaroya Hall. Since all of my company's offices have rooms for pumping, that meant I had a dedicated spot to pump, rather than having to pump in the bathroom.

The setup in this office was similar to the one in most of the other offices I've visited up here, with three cubicles and a curtain for privacy.

Much better than a bathroom! And unlike back in July, when Noob was still exclusively breastfed (no solids) and I had to pump three times during the day to get enough milk for him, I only had to make use of this spot once. I love pumping for a nursing toddler. So easy.

Uncharted territory

Noob turned 1 last week! Normally, a baby's first birthday marks the point where s/he can transition to cow's milk instead of breastmilk or formula. With Littles, I was so sick of pumping that I stopped when she was 11 months old, and used up my freezer stash while we transitioned her onto milk.

But since Noob was at home for the first 11 months of his life, I haven't really had to pump much at all -- he mostly nursed directly. Also, my current job is much more conducive to pumping than the job I had when Littles was nursing.

So I'm not sick of pumping, and so no reason to stop doing it. Noob also recently had an allergic reaction after accidentally being given peanut butter, so now that we know he has one food allergy, we're a little gun-shy about introducing other high-allergen foods, such as cow's milk.

As a result, Noob is still drinking breastmilk exclusively -- no other kind of milk. He nurses in the morning. His sitter gives him a bottle during the day, and I pump once. Then he nurses when we get home in the evening. It's very manageable!

This is uncharted territory for me, so I'm not sure how things will change over time. Should we transition him towards getting a cup of breastmilk during the day, rather than a bottle? When should we think about introducing cow's milk, and how will that fit in with his breastmilk consumption? Will he drop nursing sessions on his own, or will I eventually need to nudge him towards weaning like I did with Littles?

I'm curious to see what the next few months hold for us!

Where I pumped today

My team here in Seattle moved to a new office building, so I've spent the last few days wandering around feeling like the new kid in school. It also gave me the chance to check out a new pump room.

It's interesting seeing the contrasts between different pump rooms, even within my company. Since I work in a male-dominated field, many of the pump rooms seem to be very lightly used. One sign of the light use? The receptionists at those offices have to look up the pump room location when I ask.

But my team's new office houses my company's sales and support arms, which tend to have more women. So when I asked the receptionist where the pump room is, she didn't have to look it up... she pulled out a stack of cards that had the pump room numbers and combination written on it, and told me, "Use the one on the fifth floor. It's nicer than the one on the second floor."

She was right! It's pretty darn nice...

I love the comfy couch (in the bottom right corner of this picture), and the artwork on the wall :) It also has a mini fridge for storing milk.

Oh, and if you're curious about what three days' worth of breastmilk looks like...

That's probably around 60 oz worth, all in freezer bags. The cooler bag is the little one that came with my Medela Pump in Style Advanced. For my flight home tonight, I'll put some of this milk in another cooler bag, so that I can fit ice packs in there to keep the milk cold.

Pumping changes

Business trips give me a good opportunity to see where my milk supply is at. I've had trips in July (Noob was 5 months old), October (8 months old), and November (9 months old). On these trips, I've generally pumped first thing in the morning, twice during the work day (around 11 AM and 3 PM), and once at night back in the hotel. I usually got about 12 oz at the morning session and 6 oz at each of the other sessions, for a total of around 30 oz. Meanwhile, back home, Noob was eating 4-5 six ounce bottles each day, so I was able to keep up with him fairly easily.

Over the last two months, Noob has dropped down to just 3 nursing sessions each day, as his solids intake has increased. So on my current business trip, I'm pumping 3 times a day as well: first thing in the morning, once during the work day, and once at night. Today, I got 8.5 oz in the morning, a a little over 3 oz during the work day (this was a short session), and 9 oz at night, for a total of just under 21 oz -- a definite decrease compared to my last business trip. Back home, Noob ate 17 ounces, so I'm still keeping up with him.

Where I pumped today

My company has two office buildings in Dallas. I already chronicled the pump room in one building in a previous post. Yesterday and today, I had a meeting in the other building. Yay, a new pumping location to check out!

The pump room in this building is normally locked, and you have to go to the security office to get them to unlock it. Kind of a pain. Funny, the security officer had to enter like fifty zillion codes to get at the key. Hello? It's a key to a pump room, not to starting nuclear war.

The room is small and bare bones, but comfortable:

After I pump, I typically put my cooler bag and my pump parts (inside an opaque bag) in one of the office fridges. Last night, my meeting wrapped up after hours, and when I went to get my pumping stuff out of the fridge, I found that the area where the fridge was in was locked. Whoops! I had to call a security guard to get it unlocked so I could retrieve my milk!

*Truly* full-time pumping

For the most part, during my nursing "career," I've managed to avoid truly full-time pumping -- that is, pumping all day, without nursing at all. Prior to Littles' first birthday (when she cut back to two nursing sessions a day), I only had one day when I did not nurse her at all, during a one-day business trip when she was 9 months old. As recently as early October, it looked like I'd have a similar record with Noob.

But I've ended up traveling a lot over these last few weeks, so I've gotten reacquainted with my pump, big-time!

This week, I'm in Atlanta for some training. My parents live here, so Hubby (who is on paternity leave right now) and the kids flew out with me, and we're staying a few extra days after the training is over to visit with my parents.

We decided that during the 3 days of training, it would make sense for me to stay in the hotel where the training is occurring. This is for a variety of reasons, but certainly one big reason is that it makes pumping a lot easier, because I can run up to my room during the day to get it done.

So I've been pumping full time. Here is what my pumping schedule has looked like for the past few days:

Tuesday
8:00 AM - 30 mins, 12 oz
12:15 PM (lunch break) - 20 mins, 6.5 oz
2:45 PM (break from training) - 10 mins, 3 oz
7:00 PM - 7.5 oz

Total = 29 oz
Noob's consumption = 27 oz

Wednesday
7:30 AM - 20 mins, 10.5 oz
9:55 AM (break from training) - 10 mins, 3 oz

I should have pumped at lunch, but I chose to spend the time doing some networking instead. That is one thing I really hate about pumping during events like this: Since I work primarily from home, I usually seize every opportunity I can get to network with people face-to-face, but having to pump means that I spend practically every free minute during the day "networking" with my pump, not my colleagues. But today, I had a friend who I really wanted to catch up with. Pumping could wait.

2:45 PM (break from training) - 10 mins, 3 oz
4:30 PM (after training) - 20 mins, 7 oz
5:00 PM - Nursing! Hubby brought the kids to my hotel to say hello. The visit was brief, as I had to jump on a conference call, but it was wonderful to see them.
11:30 PM - 20 mins, 3.5 oz

Total = 27 oz
Noob's consumption (not counting the nursing session) = 25 oz

As for milk storage, at home, I store milk in the plastic bottles that came with my pump (in the fridge) or glass bottles (in the freezer). This is an eco-friendly and cheap option at home, but it doesn't work well for extended trips. I can't store milk in the plastic bottles, because I need them emptied so I can pump into them again. And glass bottles take up too much room when you're talking about storing nearly 30 oz of milk per day.

Instead, I've been using Lansinoh milk storage bags. I pour the milk into the bags immediately after pumping. That frees up my plastic bottles for more pumping. And they are much more compact than bottles, which comes in handy when traveling home with my milk. On one trip a few weeks ago, I managed to fit 2+ days of milk (over 60 oz) into the small cooler bag that came with my pump.

Anyway, I'm excited for my training to end tomorrow, so I can spend less time with my pump and more time with my kids!

This could only happen to me... while pumping

This week, I had a (rare) onsite visit with a customer. As always, it was a struggle to figure out how to slip away to pump. Actually, I didn't figure it out: I just waited till the end of the work day to pump. Thankfully, Noob is down to just two 6-ounce bottles during the workday, and my supply seems to be a little more resilient with him compared to what it was with Littles. So I'm actually able to pump enough for both his bottles in one session. At least for a few days -- I'm sure it would kill my supply if I kept that up for too long.

Anyway, I brought along my hands-free pumping bra today so that I could pump on my drive home. I pulled over to the most remote corner of the parking lot that I could find. It faced out towards an empty field, and there was just one car nearby. Perfect! So I took off my regular bra, put on my pumping bra, and got my pump all hooked up. Since there was no one nearby, I didn't bother to put on my nursing cover or be particularly discreet while doing all of this.

I looked over to turn on my pump... and saw something in motion out of the corner of my eye. It was that one nearby car, pulling away.

Whoops.

I don't think the occupant could have seen too much, since my car door and my seat would have blocked most of his/her view, but who knows.

What is it about a pumping mom in a parking lot that seems to attract other people like a moth to a flame? Seems like whenever I pump in a parking lot, even if I pick the quietest corner, someone always decides to wander around nearby. C'mon, I'm already pumping in a car for goodness sakes, can't I get a teeny tiny bit of privacy?

Where I pumped this week, last week, and the week before!

No more travel since our return from Seattle, but I've still had to pump on a number of occasions...

This week: In the bathroom at the auto dealership while getting some work done on my car. Fun, fun, fun, as bathroom pumping always is. Still, worth it to avoid having to entertain Noob at the auto dealership for nearly three hours.

Last week: In the pump room of one of our Dallas office buildings...

 

Very basic, just a sofa/padded bench, a table, and a clock. It's directly off a women's bathroom, so there is convenient access to a sink for washing pump parts. There are also lockers in the bathroom, perfect for leaving my pump between sessions... which I realized after I left my pump in the pump room itself after my first session one day, and it disappeared! Imagine my shock when I returned for my next session and couldn't find my pump anywhere. I finally asked the receptionist if anyone had dropped off a black shoulder bag that had been left in the bathroom, and she said, "Yes! The cleaning people turned it in." What the heck? Whatever. After that, I used the lockers.

I also had a rare in-person encounter with another pumping mother :) She was finishing up her session one morning, just as I was coming in for mine. Always nice to know there are more of us out there.

The week before: I was in the other Dallas office building, teaching a training session. Teaching is often tricky because breaks are short and infrequently, and if you're the teacher, you can't exactly slide in late from a pumping session. Thankfully, for this particular training, there were two 2-hour sessions each day with a long lunch break in between. So I could easily pump before the first session and pump during lunch. After the second session, I could either pump again or go home (about 5 minutes away) to nurse Noob. It worked out very well.

Another thing that worked out well was that there was a small conference room directly across the hallway from the room where I was teaching...

It had completely frosted windows and a locking door, so it was perfect for pumping. Less time spent walking to the pump room = more time to pump! I did discover the hard way that the locking door did not unlock when you opened it. So I locked myself out the first time I used it. Whoops. Fortunately, security got it opened again pretty quickly, and I was careful not to make that mistake again!

Ahhhh, pumping. Always an adventure.

Where I Pumped Today returns with a vengeance!

Longtime readers may recall that when I was pumping for Littles, I did a series called "where I pumped today," documenting all the weird and wonderful places that I ended up pumping.

Pumping for Noob is much easier, because most days, I don't have to pump at all! Since we have family watching him at home right now, and I mostly work from home, I'm able to nurse him directly most of the time. It's so much easier than pumping!

Of course, on my business trip to Seattle two weeks ago, I wasn't able to do this, so I did end up pumping most days. To make things even more fun, my meetings during my trip were spread across various locations around the city. I logged a lot of miles with my pump, and pumped in a lot of different places!

On Sunday, I had a meeting in Benaroya Hall, which is normally the home of the Seattle Symphony. Despite the large number of attendees, I was not surprised when I inquired about a pumping room and was told that, well, there were always the less-frequently-used bathrooms on the second floor...

I pumped in bathrooms pretty often with Littles, but never took pictures of them because, well, no one likes to see pictures of bathrooms. But no more sugar-coating. This is the life of a working/pumping mom.

For my first session, I set up in a stall. This is my pretty typical bathroom pumping setup -- I hang the pump from a purse hook, and try not to let my pump parts touch anything. It's really uncomfortable because there is nowhere to sit, so I have to pump while standing. Also, stalls usually don't have power outlets, so I have to use the battery pack for my pump. The suction isn't as strong, so it takes longer to finish pumping.

For my second and third sessions, I got bold and decided to pump out in the main part of the bathroom. This way, I could use a power outlet. Thankfully, no one walked in while I was pumping. There was no way to avoid putting my pump bag on the floor, so I just dealt with it. Ick.

As is always the case with a long day of meetings, just finding the time to pump is a challenge, but I did pretty well this day.

Alright, if you're still with me... no more bathroom pictures. Promise.

On Monday and Tuesday, I worked out of the office building that houses the offices of my Seattle-based co-workers. It has its own pump room, which is typical of the pump rooms in my company's Seattle offices. There are two cubicles with curtains. Each cubicle has a chair and a desk. There is also a small refrigerator for pumped milk and pump parts, and shelves for storing pumps. This room does not appear to be used very much; I never saw another woman's pump or milk.

 

On Wednesday morning, I had a meeting at one of our offices downtown. The pump room in this office was very similar, although it also had a small sink for washing pump parts. I also saw another pump in there -- always nice to know there are other pumping moms out there! Unfortunately, I didn't have time to snap a picture of this one.

On Wednesday afternoon, I had to go to the convention center for another meeting. As I explained in my post about this trip, my company was running a big convention this week (which was part of the reason why I was there in the first place). So I asked about a pump room at the convention information desk, and was happy to find out that one was available! It was a small room, perhaps serving as a storage closet under normal circumstances? But it was furnished with comfortable couches and a table for my pump. Very nice, and much appreciated!

Thursday was my worst day for pumping. I had a meeting starting at 9:30 AM in yet another office building, so I went over a little early and did a quick pump session. This building had pump rooms on three out of four floors, so the rooms just had a single cubicle, rather than the double-cubicle style of most of the other pump rooms in our offices. There was also a sink and a small refrigerator.

 

My meeting ran until about noon, and then I had to grab lunch with my co-workers and head over to a team outing. So I didn't get the chance to pump any more that day :( By the time the outing was over and I got back to the main office, it was nearly 5:30 PM and I was dying to pump! I pumped about 12 ounces in one sitting!

On Friday, thankfully, I was out of meetings and back in the main office, and able to pump regularly again. My supply took a definite hit from the limited pumping over the course of the week, but starting Saturday, I was able to nurse full-time again and now my supply seems to be right back where it needs to be.

I'll be in our Dallas office a lot over the next two weeks, so stay tuned for a few more installments in the "where I pumped today" series!

Seattle

Twice a year, my company holds a big technical training conference for employees in Seattle. It attracts folks from all over the world! My fellow program managers and I don't really need to attend the conference ourselves, but one of the teams that we work closely with sends a number of people. So we run some sessions for them at the conference. Since the sessions bring remote employees like myself into town, our management usually uses that week to hold our quarterly team meetings and other events, so that we don't have to make multiple trips. Works for me!

This summer's conference was scheduled for the last week in July, so I anticipated that it would be my first business trip after my return to work on June 21. In early June, we found out that Hubby would be attending the conference himself. I quickly confirmed with my manager that I would need to be in Seattle as well that week, and that it would be OK for me to bring my family. We started making plans:

• Flights: Noob is home with family for most of the summer -- mostly my mother-in-law. (She's a teacher, so she's off work for the summer.)But the Seattle week happened to be the first of two weeks where my mother planned to come watch Noob. She was flying in from Georgia, and booked her ticket to go to Seattle before coming to Dallas. We also bought a ticket for Littles.
• Hotel: I booked a two-bedroom suite at a Residence Inn very close to my company's office. We've stayed at this same hotel in the past while traveling with Littles, and it always works out well. There is plenty of room to spread out, and having a full kitchen makes meal preparation/eating with kids much easier.
• Child care: Although my mom would be in Seattle with us, she did have some work she needed to do. With Littles out of preschool for the week, we knew that she would need some help with the kids. We used our company's backup care program to locate a nanny, "J," who would come to the hotel in the mornings, allowing my mom to get some work done. My dad also planned to fly out later in the week to help -- he wanted to see the kids anyway, and Seattle has much nicer July weather than Georgia does!

With all our plans in place, we took off for Seattle on Friday night, on Noob's first flight ever!

I brought along about 25 oz of breastmilk. About 15 oz was frozen milk from May, and 10 oz was refrigerated milk that I had pumped over the previous day or two. The frozen milk started to defrost on the way to Seattle, and therefore had to be used within 24 hours. So Noob got bottles all day Saturday, rather than breastfeeding, and I pumped. So at the end of the day, I had 25 oz of refrigerated milk that just had to be used within the next few days. That was more than enough milk for an average day away from Noob, along with some extra in case I fell short pumping.

The extra milk did come in handy, as I had a difficult time with pumping all week. I was in a lot of meetings, and often had to delay or skip pumping sessions. In fact, by Wednesday, I actually had to make a special trip back to the hotel in the middle of the day to drop off the milk I had pumped that morning, in order to ensure that Noob had enough milk to get him through the rest of the day. If I do a trip like this again, I'll definitely pump more in the days before our departure, so that I can bring more refrigerated milk with me as a safety cushion.

The child care arrangements worked out reasonably well. Noob did fine. At his age, as long as he's kept fed and rested, he'll be OK, and J and my mom did a good job of that. Nights were a little tiring for me, as the best way to keep him quiet with so many other people sharing the hotel room with him was to pull him into bed with me and nurse him all night. But that worked out fine, as I still got a good bit of rest, and having him nurse so much was good for my milk supply anyway.

Littles was more of a challenge. J had a different approach to dealing with Littles than Hubby and I do. Not in a bad way, really. To give an example, if I take Littles to the park, she never wants to leave. So a few minutes before it's time to go, I'll tell her, "OK, Littles, 3 more minutes, and then it's time to go home." She'll often respond, "5 more minutes," and I'll say OK. Of course, she has no concept of time, so a minute later, I'll tell her, "OK, 1 more minute," and she'll respond, "2 more minutes." And so on. But this gives her enough of a heads-up that she almost always leaves on her own accord within a reasonable amount of time, even if it's a little longer than 3 minutes. J, on the other hand, went to the park with her and told her "5 more minutes" and then counted down exactly 5 minutes. Again, this wasn't a bad approach, just confusing to Littles because it wasn't what she was used to.

On top of it all, obviously Littles was dealing with being in a different time zone. She was also missing both Hubby and me tremendously. I was working very long hours, and Hubby was actually staying in a different hotel -- he was downtown, close to the convention center, while the kids and I were out in a Seattle suburb close to my office. All in all, it was a bit of a rough week for her, and she definitely was not on her best behavior.

I felt a little bad for my mom. She doesn't get to see the kids all that often, so I know she was really looking forward to spending this time with them, but she ended up getting a bit of a raw deal under the circumstances. For example, when she came in to say "Good morning," Littles would cry "Mama!" and cling to me. It wasn't that she doesn't love her Nana, because she does, but just that she associated my mom with my leaving, and she didn't want me to go. Thankfully, my mom hung in there, and was a huge help on a couple of nights when I had dinner meetings. And then she flew home to Dallas with us and stayed with us the next week, where Littles got back on her normal routine and did much better overall.

All in all, it was a hard week in many ways, but I'm glad we brought the kids along. Really, the only other option would have been to leave my mom at home alone in Dallas with both kids. That might have given Littles a little more consistency, but she still would have been acting out some due to missing Hubby and me -- she does that even when just one of us is away. Pumping would have been a huge struggle for me. And it would have been a lot to ask of my mom, to care for both kids alone for a whole week. At least in Seattle, even working long hours, I could help her in the mornings, as well as most nights. So really, everything worked out as well as it could, under the circumstances!

My worst day as a working mom

I was in the office today and had lunch with one of my friends, who had her first baby back in January. She just started back at work a few weeks ago, so not surprisingly, it didn't take long for our conversation to drift to the topic of working motherhood.

She is pretty unhappy right now, for a variety of reasons, and talking fairly seriously about quitting her job to stay home with her daughter. Listening to her struggles took me back to my early months back at work.

I started this blog about three months after I returned to work, which means you all were spared the depths of my working-mom despair. I've talked a little bit about it, here and here, but... well, it was bad. Sometimes, I look back and I'm just amazed I made it through and that I am so genuinely happy right now. That's what I tried to get across to my friend.

Specifically, I told her about my worst day as a working mom.

It was in December, the week before Christmas, so Littles was 6 months old and I had been back to work for just under two months. I was working in the same job that I had had before going on maternity leave, which was an onsite product support position. Pre-baby, that job often took me on the road for overnight travel.

Luckily, while I was on maternity leave, an amazing opportunity opened up. A customer located just 20 minutes away from my home purchased a block of "dedicated" hours -- basically, they paid big bucks to get a support person assigned to work through support issues with them. I hoped to be that person, as it would guarantee little to no overnight travel for me.

That week before Christmas, there was a big meeting at the customer site to discuss plans for a big project that would require a significant amount of support. I was invited to sit in on the meeting. All the project bigwigs would be at the meeting, and I saw this as an opportunity to make a good impression and solidify me as their dedicated support person.

The meeting was scheduled from 8 AM to 5 PM. Since Hubby was out of town, this meant I had to ask Maria, our nanny, to come at 7:30 AM so that I could leave Littles with her and get to the meeting. Since it usually took a few minutes to get Littles settled with Maria, I told the meeting organizer that I'd likely be a few minutes late. Not much I could do about that -- I felt bad enough making Maria come an hour early as it was. But I also felt bad wandering in a few minutes late, knowing that the reason for my late arrival likely hadn't been communicated to all the attendees.

As usual during onsite customer visits, pumping was a huge pain. The meeting ran all day, with just some very brief breaks and a working lunch. I didn't even have enough time to make it out to my car, so I pumped in the bathroom for the first time. The female bigwigs from the meeting used the same bathroom, and I worried about what they thought when they heard the "whoomp-whoomp" of my pump. In my head, they were saying, "Why is she pumping in the bathroom? She's so stupid." "She breastfeeds? Yuck. That's so gross." (No one actually said anything to me, but I worried nonetheless.)

I also stressed about not being able to pump often enough. I had had a bout with the stomach flu about two weeks earlier, which had killed my supply, and my freezer stash was dwindling dangerously low. I was pretty sure I was just days away from supplementing with formula. It was a very bad time for me to have a day where I could barely pump at all.

So it was a stressful day for all those reasons. But the kicker came at the end of the day.

As I said before, the meeting was scheduled to run till 5 PM. 5 PM rolled around and the leader showed no signs of wrapping things up. Then, at 5:30 PM (the time that Maria expected me home), we launched into an entirely new -- and extremely important -- topic of conversation. This was not something that could be covered quickly. I knew it could take hours.

I sat in the back of the room squirming. With Hubby out of town and no family or friends anywhere nearby, I was the only one who could pick up Littles.

There were no openings in the conversation for me to explain why I had to leave. And I was on the verge of tears anyway, and didn't trust my own voice.

Finally, at 6 PM, I got up and just walked out. (I later found out that the meeting ran until almost 9 PM.)

I ran to my car and sobbed the entire way home. I felt like a complete failure, as an employee and as a mother. I just wanted to make it all stop, quit my job and stay at home and stop feeling pulled in so many different directions. It is very lucky that I was at a customer site and not at my own office, because if my boss had been there at that moment, I might have quit my job on the spot.

That was absolute rock bottom for me. I teared up today as I was talking to my friend about it, just remembering all the emotions I was feeling at the time.

It turned out that I hadn't made a terrible impression on the bigwigs -- or if I had, no one said anything or acted badly towards me. I was able to act as their dedicated support person for the next few months, until I moved into my current job, and it kept my travel low and my life somewhat sane.

On the mom front, Maria didn't mind my late pickup at all. And I made it through the last few days before Christmas (and then my remaining months pumping at work) without having to supplement with formula, so there were no long-term ill effects from that day of not pumping enough.

And now... here I am. Happy with my working mom life. If you had told me on that December drive home that I would be here today, I never would have believed it.

I'm so glad I stuck it out.

Officially DONE with pumping!

I've been in Seattle this week. Since Littles got through my last Seattle trip with no expressed breastmilk, I didn't even bother bringing my pump along this time. I'm officially done with pumping! Yay!

We're also getting close to full weaning. Our PM nursing session has been slowly dropping off over the past few months. I'm coaching a high school girls lacrosse team, so I have a practice or a game about 2-3 weeknights each week, and I'm usually so rushed with picking Littles up and getting over to lacrosse that there's no time to nurse. Now that we're out of that evening nursing routine, both of us tend to forget even when we are at home. I think Littles has only nursed in the evening a handful of times in the last month.

I was more worried about the AM session, as that one has always been much more consistent (after all, where else do we need to be at 7 AM?) and Littles seemed much more attached to it. But, well, after 22 months, I'm ready to be done. So last week, I just stopped offering to nurse or even mentioning nursing in the mornings. I just get Littles up, change her diaper, and then ask if she wants to get some breakfast. Some mornings, she heads straight downstairs to the kitchen; other mornings, she tells me, in her inimitable toddler way, "No! Num-nums!" And then we nurse.

I'm interested to see how she acts when I get home from Seattle. Maybe she'll miss nursing and want to do it more. Maybe she'll realize that she really doesn't need to nurse anymore.

Either way is fine. I'm ready to be done, but I'm also OK with giving her a little time to catch up to me if she needs it.

A big weaning milestone

I've had two days over the past few weeks where I left home before Littles woke up and returned after she was asleep, so we didn't get the chance to nurse all day. The first time, we were away from home, so bringing along expressed breastmilk would have been a huge hassle. Littles didn't seem to miss it. The next time, we were at home and could have easily given some frozen milk, but decided not to. Again, she didn't seem to miss it.

Last week, while I was in Seattle, Hubby and I decided to see if Littles could go the entire time (about 3.5 days, or 7 nursing sessions) without breastmilk. Not surprisingly, she did just fine.

It certainly simplified my life. I still pumped to keep my supply up, but didn't have to stress at all about how much I was getting, didn't have to carry the milk home, etc. Besides, I was pumping well under 1 oz at each session, so it really was hardly worth saving!

She's heading towards full weaning, slowly but surely. I'm ready when she is.

Fun times, and not so fun times

Fun times: We recently returned from an awesome vacation to Wyoming! We spent 8 days in Jackson, Grand Teton National Park, and Yellowstone National Park.

Vacations like this remind me of why I work. This particular trip was actually a business trip -- we flew out about a week before my business meeting started in order to enjoy the local sights. So that saved us some money! Also, seeing the look of wonder on Littles' face as she saw a buffalo for the first time or witnessed the power of a waterfall reminded me of a quote: "Life is not measured by the breaths you take but by the moments that take your breath away." I know I'm not there for every breath Littles takes, but I'm there for the moments that take her breath away, and that's what really counts.

Not so fun times: I forgot my pump! Not such a big deal, except that I had to stay for two days longer than Hubby and Littles in order to attend my meeting! Oops. I ended up missing four nursing sessions total, and I hand-expressed milk to keep my supply up and avoid engorgement. I'm not going to explain exactly what hand-expressing entails; look it up if you're interested :). Anyway, it worked out fine, but I was really glad to get home.

I'm still alive!

I know it's been a while, but yes, I'm still alive!

I made another trip up to Seattle last week. It was pure craziness, as a number of my friends and co-workers were there as well, so we had some late nights out on the town :) And I thought I didn't get much sleep at home with a 1-year-old who wakes up at 7 AM every day. Yeesh.

This was my longest trip yet, at six full days. I left early Sunday morning (there was a meeting on Sunday afternoon) and got home on the red-eye early Saturday morning. I had fun and got some good work done, but by the end of the week, I was so ready to come home. I missed Littles and Hubby terribly, and the week just dragged on and on.

As a result, I continued what is probably a bad habit: I buy Littles a gift on every trip I take. It helps ease the guilt I feel from leaving her. Sort of. At least this trip, I had the good sense to indulge at a thrift shop, where I picked up a baby University of Washington football jersey for all of $2.17. Last trip, I happened to walk past a super-expensive toy store just a few hours before my flight. Not. Good.

Nothing has changed with Littles' nursing situation since my last trip -- she still nurses morning and night -- so I had to pull out the pump again. I skipped my pumping session on Sunday night, and ended up pumping really late (ummm, 3 AM) on Monday night, so my supply seemed to take a bit of a hit, and Littles seems a little less interested in nursing now that I'm back home. I'm fine with that; I'm not rushing her into weaning fully, but whenever she's ready, I am too.

I'll have only two weeks at home before I have to head up there for another week :( It's OK, because I did have a long stretch at home (4 full weeks) between my last two trips, but ugh, I'm not really looking forward to it.

The one thing I'm happy about is that Hubby and Littles may come with me on the two trips after this next one! I have a meeting in Jackson, Wyoming, in mid-September, so we're all flying out a week early for vacation. Then, Hubby has to go to Seattle in late September, so if we're able to find backup care for Littles, I'll probably try to fly out that same week and we'll bring Littles with us. Cross your fingers that it all works out!

In conclusion, I'll leave you with another installment in my "Where I pumped today" series. This is the nursing room at Seattle-Tacoma airport. Yes, a nursing room! It's a quiet, private space with two rocking chairs and outlets for moms who need to pump. Far better than nursing in public or pumping in a bathroom. Every airport should have one of these! I pumped here on Friday night just before boarding my red-eye home:


Adjacent to the nursing room is a children's play area. Brilliant! A place for active toddlers to burn off some energy before boarding their flights. Hopefully Littles will get a chance to play here in a few weeks when she comes up with Hubby and me!

Traveling with(out) a nursing toddler

Although it's been over a month since I weaned from the pump, I do still nurse Littles twice a day -- once in the morning when she first wakes up, and once in the evening, a little before dinner. I enjoy nursing, Littles is still interested (although I often feel that she enjoys the cuddles and the 1:1 time with Mom more than the milk, not that there's anything wrong with that!), and so I have no plans to drop either of these sessions anytime soon.

Of course, this posed a dilemma during my travels this past week. Since nursing is a supply-and-demand system, I knew I couldn't skip nursing all week and expect to pick up where I left off when I got home.

This meant that if I wanted to continue nursing, I would have to (gasp!) start pumping again.

It actually was not too bad. There were two main reasons why I hated full-time pumping:

1. I hated the awkwardness of either telling co-workers about pumping or finding excuses to take pump breaks during the workday.
   
2. I hated the day-to-day "am I pumping enough?" stress.

Pumping for a nursing toddler elimates both of these problems. I only needed to pump before and after work, so there was no awkwardness during the workday. And I really didn't care how much I pumped; honestly, I'm not even sure we'll end up using the milk I pumped, as Littles should be able to do whole milk exclusively by the time of my next trip at the end of July.

I refused to bring my Medela Pump in Style out of retirement, so I took along my Medela Harmony manual pump instead. I was pleasantly surprised by how much milk I was able to get. I've been feeling fairly "deflated" and I've wondered whether I really have any milk left. To my surprise, I averaged about 4-5 oz per session, which is a pretty decent amount.

Transporting the milk home was a breeze, since I only had the two pump sessions. Back in my full-time pumping days, I would have pumped probably around 100 oz on a trip of this length. Getting all that milk home would be a huge pain! This time, I only pumped about 35 oz, so I didn't have any difficulty fitting it into two cooler bags and carrying it on.

I have no goals around nursing or pumping right now, so I don't know whether or not I'll go through all of this again during my next trip. But if I do decide to do it, it's nice to know it's not too much of a hassle.