Recharging

I went through a training program for work about a month ago where, among many other things, we talked about "recharging" -- little things that we can do throughout the day to restore our physical/mental/emotional energy so that we can keep working through our to-do lists.

My favorite recharging ritual? As I posted previously, Littles currently goes to preschool from 9 AM-2 PM, while Hubby is home on paternity leave. When she gets home, I usually take 5 minutes to step away from my computer, give her a hug, talk to her about her day, ooh and ahh over anything she brought home with her, and maybe even read her a quick book before naptime. (Hers, not mine, unfortunately!) It gives me a nice little break, and I return to work refreshed and ready to tackle the last few hours of my day.

Hubby's paternity leave will be over in less than a month, and Littles will be back to full-time at preschool. I'll miss that little ritual.

No, it's not at all like being laid off.

I've been on a crazy stretch of travel. My last five weeks have been: 3 days in Seattle, 2 days in Austin, 3 days doing an onsite visit at a local customer site (at least I got to go home every night during that one!), 3 days of training in Atlanta (followed by a few days of visiting with my parents), and then 2 days back in Seattle earlier this week.

I flew from Atlanta directly to Seattle on Sunday night, and got to chatting with my hotel shuttle driver about my traveling. I said, "Thankfully, my husband is home on paternity leave. So he's in a better position to handle all my travel than he would be if he were working at his normal job and had all of that stress on top of taking care of the kids."

The shuttle driver was very confused. "Oh, he's not able to find a job? Is that like being laid off?"

Ummm, no. Paternity leave is not at all like being laid off.

Eventually, I helped him understand what paternity leave was. So then he asked, "Oh. Is that going alright? Your husband taking care of the kids?"

Ummm, yes. Why wouldn't it?

And why do I suspect that no one asked Hubby during my maternity leave, "So, is that going alright? Your wife taking care of the kids?"

Daycare during maternity (and paternity!) leave

After five months back at work, my maternity leave seems like a distant memory. But Noob is still at home with family! When I returned to work in late June, my mother-in-law came out to watch Noob for most of the summer. My mother also watched him for two weeks in there, in late July/early August.

Then, at the beginning of October, Hubby's paternity leave started. We're lucky enough to work for a company that gives up to 12 weeks of leave to new dads, including 4 weeks fully paid. So Hubby will be off work until early January, when Noob will be 11 months old.

We did choose to leave Littles in preschool for this entire time. It wasn't required; she wouldn't have lost her spot if we had pulled her out for all or part of this 11-month period. But we thought that was a long time for her to be out of school. She loves her friends there, she always has fun, and she learns a lot. We didn't want to deprive her of that for nearly a year.

It also gave each of us more time to bond with Noob one-on-one. And I know that in the early weeks, I appreciated having some Littles-free time to catch up on sleep, or to get things done around the house so that I could sleep later!

What we did do was cut back on Littles' preschool hours. Prior to Noob's birth, she went to preschool full time, roughly 9 AM to 6 PM, Monday through Friday. The preschool day itself went from 9 AM to 2 PM, and then in the afternoon, she went to extended care, where she could take a nap and play until pickup time.

As soon as Noob was born, we cut her back to just school days, 9 AM to 2 PM. Then, in the beginning of April, as Noob started sleeping more and I felt like I could take on a little more, we cut her back further to just four days a week. So now, she goes to preschool only 20 hours a week, compared to 40-45 hours previously.

It's a really nice balance. She still gets plenty of preschool time, but she also gets that extra day at home to do something fun or just hang out and play. These days, she's skipping her nap more and more, so it's great to have some extra time with her in the late afternoon, rather than having her stay at school until 5 or 6 PM. It's also a little cheaper, about 75% of the full-time rate, so that works out well, too.

Maternity leave

Long time, no post, I know. I've been busy.

Noob arrived a few days before his due date, on January 31st, and I have been on maternity leave ever since.

I'm lucky to work for a fabulous company that offers up to 20 weeks of maternity leave to new mothers, including 12 weeks fully paid. I'm currently two weeks away from my return-to-work date.

I've enjoyed my maternity leave tremendously. Much more than I did with Littles. Some of this is likely due to our changed family circumstances. When Littles was born, Hubby was working long hours at a startup company, and had a 45-minute commute on top of it. He also traveled monthly. Now, he works shorter hours at an office that's 5 minutes away, and last week was his first business trip since Noob's birth. He is around a lot more, which takes a load off my shoulders. It also makes me happy to see him with his kids so much more. His new job gives him more time to be the amazing daddy he's always been.

Some of this is likely due to the fact that I'm enjoying Noob's entire newborn stage more than I did Littles'. He is a ridiculously easy baby. Not that she was difficult, by any means, but he's even easier. And now I know that even the occasional difficult moments are just... moments. They'll pass quickly. And all those wonderful moments? They'll pass even more quickly.

And some of this, I think, is the confidence that comes with having 2+ years of working motherhood under my belt. I remember checking my work email a lot in the early weeks of my maternity leave with Littles. After all, work was what I had done for, well, my entire career. I didn't know how to let go. I didn't want to let go, because I knew I was good at my job, but I didn't know if I'd be any good at this motherhood thing. In some ways, I didn't want to be good at it, because then maybe I would feel like I should do it full-time. I didn't want to enjoy myself on maternity leave, because then maybe I would think I should make my leave permanent.

Now? I know that I'm good at this motherhood thing. Being home for this long, I've discovered that I really could be a stay-at-home mom. I love it that much. I can't justify my decision to work by saying, "I'm not cut out to stay at home." Because I am.

But that doesn't mean that I will. That's the confidence that I have now that I didn't have with Littles. I can admit to myself that I would love to stay at home, but I can still choose to go back to work -- because I love working, too. And I know my kids will be just fine either way.

This time around, I've barely looked at my work email while on maternity leave. I have a different job right now. It's OK that I'm good at it. It's OK that I love it. It's also OK that it's temporary.