I'm in denial about the fact that we're moving. I guess normally, there's a lot of preparation that goes into a move -- you know, like packing. But Hubby's company is paying for this whole move, so we have packers/movers coming to do all that. Our house looks totally normal right now. I have to remind myself that in just 8 days, it'll be empty.
I think Littles knows something is up, because when I picked her up today, she reached out for Maria -- something she's never done before. Maria got a sad look on her face and said, "Just one more week." That's when it really started to hit me that we're leaving.
I am sure some people would shake their heads and say, "How awful that Littles would rather be with Maria than her own mom." But I disagree. I know Littles loves me. I know she's very attached to Maria as well, and I think that's a wonderful thing. As far as I'm concerned, the more people in her life who love her, and who she loves back, the better off she is.
But boy, it does make leaving tough.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Adventures in child care
I can tell within seconds of meeting a potential caregiver whether or not s/he will work out. When we first met Maria, she immediately got a big smile on her face and reached out to hold Littles. I knew right away that she would be great. Same thing with Kay, the first backup care provider that we had a few weeks ago, when Maria was unable to come one day. Littles was having a fussy morning (teething!), yet Kay was not fazed at all. She took Littles into her room and within minutes, I heard no more crying, just the sound of Kay quietly reading a book as she rocked with Littles.
Unfortunately, I had the opposite reaction to Littles' backup care provider yesterday.
First, she was about 15 minutes late. Now, I'm chronically late as well, but when I first meet someone, I do try my best to be on time, at least that one time!
Then, she just seemed... well, uninterested and apathetic. Very much like she was doing this as a job, not because she genuinely loved children.
But she seemed nice enough and normal, so I didn't fear for Littles' safety or anything. I left, thought about Littles all day, and hoped that my first impression was wrong.
Unfortunately, when I returned in the evening, I still felt like things weren't right. She told me that Littles had been really upset for an hour in the afternoon after waking up from her second nap, which is very much unlike Littles. OK, maybe it was teething... but then, after she left, I noticed that she had completely messed up with the milk I left, by using refrigerated milk first, rather than frozen milk. Since frozen milk has to be used within 24 hours of thawing, that meant I had to dump all 8 oz of frozen milk. She also left the bag of frozen peas for Littles' lunch out on the counter, so they completely thawed and had to be tossed as well. Silly little things? Yeah. But if she was careless about the frozen peas, what else was she careless about?
I just couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right. So I called back Work Options Group (the organization that contracts with my company to provide care) and asked them to assign me someone new for tomorrow and Wednesday. I really felt awful about it. Especially when the woman from yesterday called me this morning to let me know she was running late (again!). When I asked for the reassignment, I also specifically asked to make sure someone would call to tell her not to come today, but my requests have to filter through a couple of layers (me -> Work Options Group -> the local nanny service that they work with -> the caregiver herself) and I guess this request didn't make it all the way down. I lied, and told her we no longer needed care. I didn't want to get into it with her.
Anyway, I instantly felt at ease with the new caregiver and feel much better about the whole situation. I just feel really badly for the other woman. But it's my child, my baby. I need to know she's in good hands.
Unfortunately, I had the opposite reaction to Littles' backup care provider yesterday.
First, she was about 15 minutes late. Now, I'm chronically late as well, but when I first meet someone, I do try my best to be on time, at least that one time!
Then, she just seemed... well, uninterested and apathetic. Very much like she was doing this as a job, not because she genuinely loved children.
But she seemed nice enough and normal, so I didn't fear for Littles' safety or anything. I left, thought about Littles all day, and hoped that my first impression was wrong.
Unfortunately, when I returned in the evening, I still felt like things weren't right. She told me that Littles had been really upset for an hour in the afternoon after waking up from her second nap, which is very much unlike Littles. OK, maybe it was teething... but then, after she left, I noticed that she had completely messed up with the milk I left, by using refrigerated milk first, rather than frozen milk. Since frozen milk has to be used within 24 hours of thawing, that meant I had to dump all 8 oz of frozen milk. She also left the bag of frozen peas for Littles' lunch out on the counter, so they completely thawed and had to be tossed as well. Silly little things? Yeah. But if she was careless about the frozen peas, what else was she careless about?
I just couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right. So I called back Work Options Group (the organization that contracts with my company to provide care) and asked them to assign me someone new for tomorrow and Wednesday. I really felt awful about it. Especially when the woman from yesterday called me this morning to let me know she was running late (again!). When I asked for the reassignment, I also specifically asked to make sure someone would call to tell her not to come today, but my requests have to filter through a couple of layers (me -> Work Options Group -> the local nanny service that they work with -> the caregiver herself) and I guess this request didn't make it all the way down. I lied, and told her we no longer needed care. I didn't want to get into it with her.
Anyway, I instantly felt at ease with the new caregiver and feel much better about the whole situation. I just feel really badly for the other woman. But it's my child, my baby. I need to know she's in good hands.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Weaning off the pump
Holy cow. I thought this day would never come.
As of right now, I have 226.75 ounces of milk in my freezer. There are 32 days left until Littles' first birthday, when it's OK to start giving cow's milk in place of breastmilk.
As of late, Littles has been drinking only about 10 oz of milk on average while she's with Maria. That means that if I don't pump another drop of milk, I should be able to make it to June 12th just on my frozen milk alone. If my milk supply holds up on weekends/holidays/vacation days even when I quit pumping on workdays (and it's likely that it will, at least for a while), then I'll be able to easily make it all the way to June 18th!
So I'm starting to cut back on my pumping. I'm down to just one pumping session most days. This week, I may start to cut back on how long I pump during that session, to gradually get the message to my body that it doesn't need to produce quite so much milk.
Surprisingly, I'm a litle sad about all this. Oh, sure, it will be nice not having to stress on a daily basis about whether and how I'll find time to pump, whether I'll be able to keep up with Littles' consumption, etc. But at the same time, this means my little baby is growing up.
Littles and I spent this afternoon organizing the clothes in her room, which is a pretty big endeavor because this child has a lot of clothes. I have two big boxes into which I've been throwing outgrown clothes, so I went through and organized them a little better. I came across the outfit she came home from the hospital in. The outfit she wore to her first doctor's visit. The pajamas that she practically swam in the first time I put them on. As Littles cruised and toddled around and pushed over my carefully-sorted piles, I remembered the days when I put her down and walked away and came back to find her in the same place.
Where did my little baby go?
As of right now, I have 226.75 ounces of milk in my freezer. There are 32 days left until Littles' first birthday, when it's OK to start giving cow's milk in place of breastmilk.
As of late, Littles has been drinking only about 10 oz of milk on average while she's with Maria. That means that if I don't pump another drop of milk, I should be able to make it to June 12th just on my frozen milk alone. If my milk supply holds up on weekends/holidays/vacation days even when I quit pumping on workdays (and it's likely that it will, at least for a while), then I'll be able to easily make it all the way to June 18th!
So I'm starting to cut back on my pumping. I'm down to just one pumping session most days. This week, I may start to cut back on how long I pump during that session, to gradually get the message to my body that it doesn't need to produce quite so much milk.
Surprisingly, I'm a litle sad about all this. Oh, sure, it will be nice not having to stress on a daily basis about whether and how I'll find time to pump, whether I'll be able to keep up with Littles' consumption, etc. But at the same time, this means my little baby is growing up.
Littles and I spent this afternoon organizing the clothes in her room, which is a pretty big endeavor because this child has a lot of clothes. I have two big boxes into which I've been throwing outgrown clothes, so I went through and organized them a little better. I came across the outfit she came home from the hospital in. The outfit she wore to her first doctor's visit. The pajamas that she practically swam in the first time I put them on. As Littles cruised and toddled around and pushed over my carefully-sorted piles, I remembered the days when I put her down and walked away and came back to find her in the same place.
Where did my little baby go?
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Stay out of the minibar!
I have to go up to Seattle next week for work. Since Hubby has already relocated to Dallas, that means that Littles needs to come along with me.
Luckily, as I mentioned previously, I recently discovered that my company provides up to 100 hours of backup child care per calendar year. All I have to do is give Work Options Group a call or submit a request online, and they'll find either a daycare center that allows drop-ins or an in-home caregiver. They're nationwide, so I can get care in Seattle just as easily as at home. I love this service! If you're in charge of benefits at a company and you want to keep your working moms (and dads!) happy, you might want to look into this one.
Anyway. For next week, I'll have an in-home caregiver for Littles, since they couldn't locate a daycare center in the area that will take an infant on a drop-in basis. Of course, that means the caregiver will have to come to my hotel, so they sent me a form with some Yes/No questions to answer. These include: "My dependent may order games and/or movies on the television," "My dependent may use the Internet," and "My dependent may order food and/or snacks or beverages from room service or in-room mini bar."
I'm just imagining Littles kicking back on the couch, watching a movie, surfing the Internet, and downing a mini-bottle of vodka :)
Luckily, as I mentioned previously, I recently discovered that my company provides up to 100 hours of backup child care per calendar year. All I have to do is give Work Options Group a call or submit a request online, and they'll find either a daycare center that allows drop-ins or an in-home caregiver. They're nationwide, so I can get care in Seattle just as easily as at home. I love this service! If you're in charge of benefits at a company and you want to keep your working moms (and dads!) happy, you might want to look into this one.
Anyway. For next week, I'll have an in-home caregiver for Littles, since they couldn't locate a daycare center in the area that will take an infant on a drop-in basis. Of course, that means the caregiver will have to come to my hotel, so they sent me a form with some Yes/No questions to answer. These include: "My dependent may order games and/or movies on the television," "My dependent may use the Internet," and "My dependent may order food and/or snacks or beverages from room service or in-room mini bar."
I'm just imagining Littles kicking back on the couch, watching a movie, surfing the Internet, and downing a mini-bottle of vodka :)
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Househunting
I should probably post a quick update on where we're at with the move.
Two weeks ago, we went to Dallas to go househunting for the weekend. We were looking at houses in a wide area, probably about 20 miles east-west and 10 miles north-south. This made things really stressful, because it meant that I had to look for daycares in a wide area as well.
We spent Saturday looking at some rather enormous houses in some rather far-flung suburbs. We eventually realized that it made no sense living 30-45 minutes away from Hubby's office in order to own a home more than twice as large as our current home, which is almost twice as large as the home we were living in when Littles was born. We simply did not need -- or want -- all that space.
We took a wrong turn on the way back to our hotel, and ended up driving right past Hubby's office. We decided to stop in to a new development about 5 minutes away, to see what they had to offer.
We both fell in love right away. The development is beautiful, and it's in a perfect location. The houses are more expensive despite being smaller, but the smaller size was exactly what we were looking for anyway, and it was worth it to us to pay more to be in such a nice place.
After some long, drawn-out negotiations (which continued even after we returned home to California), we finally reached a deal and should be closing at the end of this month!
So, with housing in place, we just have to find child care... that's a topic for another post.
Two weeks ago, we went to Dallas to go househunting for the weekend. We were looking at houses in a wide area, probably about 20 miles east-west and 10 miles north-south. This made things really stressful, because it meant that I had to look for daycares in a wide area as well.
We spent Saturday looking at some rather enormous houses in some rather far-flung suburbs. We eventually realized that it made no sense living 30-45 minutes away from Hubby's office in order to own a home more than twice as large as our current home, which is almost twice as large as the home we were living in when Littles was born. We simply did not need -- or want -- all that space.
We took a wrong turn on the way back to our hotel, and ended up driving right past Hubby's office. We decided to stop in to a new development about 5 minutes away, to see what they had to offer.
We both fell in love right away. The development is beautiful, and it's in a perfect location. The houses are more expensive despite being smaller, but the smaller size was exactly what we were looking for anyway, and it was worth it to us to pay more to be in such a nice place.
After some long, drawn-out negotiations (which continued even after we returned home to California), we finally reached a deal and should be closing at the end of this month!
So, with housing in place, we just have to find child care... that's a topic for another post.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
First week at my new job
This past week was my first week at my new job :)
I spent Monday to Wednesday up in Seattle, where most of my new team sits. Hubby asked for a week off in between his old job and new job, so he was able to come with me and watch Littles while I worked. This worked out really nicely, as we didn't have to pay extra for child care (we still have to pay for our nanny share back home, even when we don't use it), he and Littles had some quality dad-daughter 1:1 time, and I didn't have to miss both of them. Hubby leaves for Dallas tomorrow and we'll only see him for one weekend over the next four weeks, so we're both savoring every minute with him right now.
Also, Littles caught a nasty cold over the weekend, so I was glad to be there for her. She kept waking up coughing on Sunday night, and I finally brought her into bed and cuddled her for the rest of the night. I'm sure Hubby would have done fine if he had been home alone with her, but it was nice that we could both be there.
Bringing Littles with me also made things easier from a pumping perspective. On Sunday, I brought the milk I had pumped over the weekend (10 oz refrigerated), as well as a bottle of frozen milk (8 oz). For traveling, I put the refrigerated milk in my normal cooler with an ice pack, and the frozen milk in a cooler bag that I filled with ice. I was worried about the frozen milk defrosting on the way to Seattle, since defrosted milk must be used within 24 hours. It was about six hours from the time I took the milk out of the freezer at home to the time that I got to the hotel in Seattle, and the milk was still frozen completely solid! So that worked well.
The rest of the week, I just pumped as normal. I had no problems keeping up with Littles, as she drank about 4-8 oz less per day with Hubby than she does with Maria. I've long suspected that Maria overfeeds her, and this was proof of that. Not that I really care -- I'd rather her overfeed than underfeed.
I got a room at a Residence Inn, which made things a lot easier with Littles. It had a full kitchen for preparing her solids meals, a refrigerator for keeping milk cold, a freezer for my ice packs, and a dishwasher for cleaning my bottles and pump parts. I paid a little extra out-of-pocket for a two-bedroom suite, which was nice so that Hubby and I didn't have to tiptoe around after she went to bed.
The new job is great. Hectic, but great :) I've taken over a project that's already five months behind schedule, and no one knows the status right now. Needless to say, I have my work cut out for me. But it's fun being in charge of something and attempting to move it in the right direction!
All in all, it was a good week. I can already tell that the next two months will be very busy and crazy between trying to get my project finished and the move and everything. But I'm ready for it. Bring it on!
I spent Monday to Wednesday up in Seattle, where most of my new team sits. Hubby asked for a week off in between his old job and new job, so he was able to come with me and watch Littles while I worked. This worked out really nicely, as we didn't have to pay extra for child care (we still have to pay for our nanny share back home, even when we don't use it), he and Littles had some quality dad-daughter 1:1 time, and I didn't have to miss both of them. Hubby leaves for Dallas tomorrow and we'll only see him for one weekend over the next four weeks, so we're both savoring every minute with him right now.
Also, Littles caught a nasty cold over the weekend, so I was glad to be there for her. She kept waking up coughing on Sunday night, and I finally brought her into bed and cuddled her for the rest of the night. I'm sure Hubby would have done fine if he had been home alone with her, but it was nice that we could both be there.
Bringing Littles with me also made things easier from a pumping perspective. On Sunday, I brought the milk I had pumped over the weekend (10 oz refrigerated), as well as a bottle of frozen milk (8 oz). For traveling, I put the refrigerated milk in my normal cooler with an ice pack, and the frozen milk in a cooler bag that I filled with ice. I was worried about the frozen milk defrosting on the way to Seattle, since defrosted milk must be used within 24 hours. It was about six hours from the time I took the milk out of the freezer at home to the time that I got to the hotel in Seattle, and the milk was still frozen completely solid! So that worked well.
The rest of the week, I just pumped as normal. I had no problems keeping up with Littles, as she drank about 4-8 oz less per day with Hubby than she does with Maria. I've long suspected that Maria overfeeds her, and this was proof of that. Not that I really care -- I'd rather her overfeed than underfeed.
I got a room at a Residence Inn, which made things a lot easier with Littles. It had a full kitchen for preparing her solids meals, a refrigerator for keeping milk cold, a freezer for my ice packs, and a dishwasher for cleaning my bottles and pump parts. I paid a little extra out-of-pocket for a two-bedroom suite, which was nice so that Hubby and I didn't have to tiptoe around after she went to bed.
The new job is great. Hectic, but great :) I've taken over a project that's already five months behind schedule, and no one knows the status right now. Needless to say, I have my work cut out for me. But it's fun being in charge of something and attempting to move it in the right direction!
All in all, it was a good week. I can already tell that the next two months will be very busy and crazy between trying to get my project finished and the move and everything. But I'm ready for it. Bring it on!
Friday, May 9, 2008
Where I pumped today
Today was my fifth WOMEN Unlimited session. The sessions meet at a local hotel, and the hotel has been wonderful about giving me a room for the day (for free) so that I can pump.
This is by far my favorite pump spot! I usually work on my laptop at the desk (on the left side in the picture above), but I can also relax in the easy chair and watch TV if I want. Obviously, there's a sink as well, so I can wash out my pump parts when I'm done. And all the rooms have a mini-fridge for keeping my milk cold.
There was one minor problem today: Someone walked into the room while I was pumping! Luckily, I screamed, "Someone is in here!" as soon as I heard the door open, and the bathroom door was positioned in front of the main door so he couldn't see me. He called out, "Sorry!" and left immediately. Close call!
This is by far my favorite pump spot! I usually work on my laptop at the desk (on the left side in the picture above), but I can also relax in the easy chair and watch TV if I want. Obviously, there's a sink as well, so I can wash out my pump parts when I'm done. And all the rooms have a mini-fridge for keeping my milk cold.
There was one minor problem today: Someone walked into the room while I was pumping! Luckily, I screamed, "Someone is in here!" as soon as I heard the door open, and the bathroom door was positioned in front of the main door so he couldn't see me. He called out, "Sorry!" and left immediately. Close call!
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