What I Wore Wednesday

This week, I experimented with using my mobile phone to take pictures, rather than my camera. Because I'm lazy, and my phone auto-uploads the pictures to SkyDrive. That way, I don't have to plug in my camera to grab the pictures.

Let's see how they turned out.

Wednesday - Meetings in the office

Typical of most IT companies, my company's dress code is... well, come to work dressed, and you're OK. I remember when I first interviewed here, back when I was in college, and I wore a suit. Haha. My interviewers were dressed in ragged jeans and giant t-shirts. That was the first and last time I wore a suit to the office!

I normally wear either jeans or khakis when I come into the office. Every now and then, I'll wear a skirt, and when I do, I usually get asked at least once, "Do you have an interview today or something?" :)

Sweater - Esprit. I bought this on a business trip to Dubai back in 2006, after British Airways lost my luggage :)

Khakis - J. Crew

Thursday - Meetings in the office

This is my $36 Gap outfit that I mentioned last week :)

Sweater - Gap

Jeans - Gap

Friday - Working from home

I forgot to take a picture! I was in jeans and a geeky t-shirt, so it's probably for the best!

Saturday - Lacrosse team holiday party and various errands

Shirt - Ann Taylor. My friend Jamie turned me on to this store a few years ago and I love it! They have lots of great clothes that are stylish but also comfortable, versatile, and reasonably priced. This shirt is so stretchy that it actually lasted me well into the second trimester of my pregnancy with Noob, but still looks good even when I'm not pregnant. Littles told me, "Mommy, I like your flower shirt." High praise indeed!

Jeans - I think these are my Old Navy jeans.

Sunday - Shopping with the kids and lacrosse meeting

Sweater - Gap. Another sweater that I've had since college, possibly earlier.

Jeans - Gap.

Monday - Meetings in the office

Shirt - Ann Taylor

Jeans - Gap. Yeah. I re-wear jeans a lot.

Tuesday - Meetings in the office

Sweater - Bass.

Jeans - Gap again. Hmmmmm.

Wednesday - Meetings in the office

Sweater - Old Navy. I love this sweater, love the color, love how soft it is (cashmere). It was a steal off the clearance rack! It was in the 70's today, so this sweater was just perfect, a little warmer than a t-shirt but not too hot.

Jeans - Old Navy.

Hmmm, the phone didn't do too bad. The lighting in our bathroom just sucks :( Oh well. It's the best place in the house to take pictures, from a mirror perspective, so I'll have to deal with the lighting.

Recharging

I went through a training program for work about a month ago where, among many other things, we talked about "recharging" -- little things that we can do throughout the day to restore our physical/mental/emotional energy so that we can keep working through our to-do lists.

My favorite recharging ritual? As I posted previously, Littles currently goes to preschool from 9 AM-2 PM, while Hubby is home on paternity leave. When she gets home, I usually take 5 minutes to step away from my computer, give her a hug, talk to her about her day, ooh and ahh over anything she brought home with her, and maybe even read her a quick book before naptime. (Hers, not mine, unfortunately!) It gives me a nice little break, and I return to work refreshed and ready to tackle the last few hours of my day.

Hubby's paternity leave will be over in less than a month, and Littles will be back to full-time at preschool. I'll miss that little ritual.

Where I pumped today

My company has two office buildings in Dallas. I already chronicled the pump room in one building in a previous post. Yesterday and today, I had a meeting in the other building. Yay, a new pumping location to check out!

The pump room in this building is normally locked, and you have to go to the security office to get them to unlock it. Kind of a pain. Funny, the security officer had to enter like fifty zillion codes to get at the key. Hello? It's a key to a pump room, not to starting nuclear war.

The room is small and bare bones, but comfortable:

After I pump, I typically put my cooler bag and my pump parts (inside an opaque bag) in one of the office fridges. Last night, my meeting wrapped up after hours, and when I went to get my pumping stuff out of the fridge, I found that the area where the fridge was in was locked. Whoops! I had to call a security guard to get it unlocked so I could retrieve my milk!

What I Wore Wednesday

My friend Ashley does a series on her blog called "What I Wore Wednesday." Each day, she takes a picture of her outfit for the day, and then on -- wait for it -- Wednesdays, she posts all the pictures from the week. She's been encouraging all her friends to participate as well, but... well, most weeks, I (shhhh!) rarely get out of my pajamas. I consider that to be a major perk of working from home!

But I had an onsite visit with a customer last week, and then I have meetings in the office this week and next week, so I do have to get out of my PJs. Booooooo. But that means I no longer have an excuse to skip out on WIWW. So here ya go, Ashley, this one is for you!

I will warn you upfront: I have no style at all. Stacy and Clinton from What Not To Wear would be horrified by my closet. Horrified. I'm cheap, which means I hate spending money on clothes. And working from home, I don't need a huge wardrobe. So I rarely buy new clothes. I've realized recently that a lot of my clothes were purchased when I was in college. Some, when I was in high school. Yikes. I also hate accessorizing, and I hate makeup. I just don't have time to deal with all that in the morning.

Is anyone still reading? OK. Here goes :)

Thursday: Onsite visit with customer

Shirt - Gap
Sweater - J. Crew (ugh, this lighting is awful. It's actually navy in color.)
Pants - J. Crew

Customer visits mean no jeans, sneakers, or flip flops. Oftentimes, if I'm visiting a customer for the first time, I'll err on the side of being more dressy than I need to be, and will put on a skirt and a nice shirt. But I had worked with this customer before and knew that a more casual look was fine.

I couldn't figure out a good way to take pictures of my shoes. I have two pairs of Skechers shoes (one black, one brown) that I usually wear when I go onsite. I wore the brown pair this day. When I'm not onsite, I'm usually in an old pair of running shoes.

Friday: Working from home

Shirt - Ironman race shirt :)
Jeans - Old Navy

I actually got out of my PJs today, because I did preschool drop-off for Littles. (Since Hubby is home on paternity leave, he's normally the one to do drop-offs and pick-ups.) I really could do drop-off in my PJs, because Littles' preschool does drop-offs from car line, so I don't even have to get out of the car... but I do try to get dressed anyway!

Saturday: Lacrosse coaching/playing

Jacket - Boathouse
Pants - Bacharach

The pants are actually from my college lacrosse team, but they match the colors of the school that I coach! It works out well! I usually wear jeans when coaching, but this day, I was playing as well. So I wore these pants with shorts underneath, and took the pants off when it was time to play.

Sunday: Christmas tree shopping

Sweater - Bass (I'm pretty sure I bought this sweater when I was in high school... maybe when I was a freshman in college)
Jeans - Gap

I had only one pair of jeans (the Old Navy pair I wore on Friday) until just a few weeks ago, when I bought this pair. They were originally $70, but they were marked down to $40. I also had a Groupon for $50 at Gap that I purchased for $25. Since I didn't get any money back if I didn't use the full value of the Groupon, I threw in a sweater to put me over $50. The sweater was originally $34.50, but on sale for 40% off. All told, I got a $70 pair of jeans and a $34.50 sweater for $36 total. Did I mention I'm cheap? Those are the kinds of deals I need to find before I'll buy new clothes!

Later Sunday: More lacrosse coaching

Shirt - Gildan
Jeans - Gap

I don't think you can really see, but on my shirt, it says "[School name] Lacrosse" and has two crossed lacrosse sticks. I put my Boathouse jacket over this.

Funny, it's really rare for me to wear my hair down when I'm coaching. I did this day, just because I had blow dried it to look decent in pictures while Christmas tree shopping, so I saw no reason to put it back for the games. All my lacrosse girls were like, "Coach, did you get a haircut?" I guess it looks a lot shorter down vs. in a ponytail!

Monday and Tuesday: I wasn't feeling well (I stayed home sick from work on Tuesday) so I had other priorities besides taking pictures of my outfits!

So there ya go! I'll try to do a little better next week at taking pictures every day!

No, it's not at all like being laid off.

I've been on a crazy stretch of travel. My last five weeks have been: 3 days in Seattle, 2 days in Austin, 3 days doing an onsite visit at a local customer site (at least I got to go home every night during that one!), 3 days of training in Atlanta (followed by a few days of visiting with my parents), and then 2 days back in Seattle earlier this week.

I flew from Atlanta directly to Seattle on Sunday night, and got to chatting with my hotel shuttle driver about my traveling. I said, "Thankfully, my husband is home on paternity leave. So he's in a better position to handle all my travel than he would be if he were working at his normal job and had all of that stress on top of taking care of the kids."

The shuttle driver was very confused. "Oh, he's not able to find a job? Is that like being laid off?"

Ummm, no. Paternity leave is not at all like being laid off.

Eventually, I helped him understand what paternity leave was. So then he asked, "Oh. Is that going alright? Your husband taking care of the kids?"

Ummm, yes. Why wouldn't it?

And why do I suspect that no one asked Hubby during my maternity leave, "So, is that going alright? Your wife taking care of the kids?"

Daycare during maternity (and paternity!) leave

After five months back at work, my maternity leave seems like a distant memory. But Noob is still at home with family! When I returned to work in late June, my mother-in-law came out to watch Noob for most of the summer. My mother also watched him for two weeks in there, in late July/early August.

Then, at the beginning of October, Hubby's paternity leave started. We're lucky enough to work for a company that gives up to 12 weeks of leave to new dads, including 4 weeks fully paid. So Hubby will be off work until early January, when Noob will be 11 months old.

We did choose to leave Littles in preschool for this entire time. It wasn't required; she wouldn't have lost her spot if we had pulled her out for all or part of this 11-month period. But we thought that was a long time for her to be out of school. She loves her friends there, she always has fun, and she learns a lot. We didn't want to deprive her of that for nearly a year.

It also gave each of us more time to bond with Noob one-on-one. And I know that in the early weeks, I appreciated having some Littles-free time to catch up on sleep, or to get things done around the house so that I could sleep later!

What we did do was cut back on Littles' preschool hours. Prior to Noob's birth, she went to preschool full time, roughly 9 AM to 6 PM, Monday through Friday. The preschool day itself went from 9 AM to 2 PM, and then in the afternoon, she went to extended care, where she could take a nap and play until pickup time.

As soon as Noob was born, we cut her back to just school days, 9 AM to 2 PM. Then, in the beginning of April, as Noob started sleeping more and I felt like I could take on a little more, we cut her back further to just four days a week. So now, she goes to preschool only 20 hours a week, compared to 40-45 hours previously.

It's a really nice balance. She still gets plenty of preschool time, but she also gets that extra day at home to do something fun or just hang out and play. These days, she's skipping her nap more and more, so it's great to have some extra time with her in the late afternoon, rather than having her stay at school until 5 or 6 PM. It's also a little cheaper, about 75% of the full-time rate, so that works out well, too.

*Truly* full-time pumping

For the most part, during my nursing "career," I've managed to avoid truly full-time pumping -- that is, pumping all day, without nursing at all. Prior to Littles' first birthday (when she cut back to two nursing sessions a day), I only had one day when I did not nurse her at all, during a one-day business trip when she was 9 months old. As recently as early October, it looked like I'd have a similar record with Noob.

But I've ended up traveling a lot over these last few weeks, so I've gotten reacquainted with my pump, big-time!

This week, I'm in Atlanta for some training. My parents live here, so Hubby (who is on paternity leave right now) and the kids flew out with me, and we're staying a few extra days after the training is over to visit with my parents.

We decided that during the 3 days of training, it would make sense for me to stay in the hotel where the training is occurring. This is for a variety of reasons, but certainly one big reason is that it makes pumping a lot easier, because I can run up to my room during the day to get it done.

So I've been pumping full time. Here is what my pumping schedule has looked like for the past few days:

Tuesday
8:00 AM - 30 mins, 12 oz
12:15 PM (lunch break) - 20 mins, 6.5 oz
2:45 PM (break from training) - 10 mins, 3 oz
7:00 PM - 7.5 oz

Total = 29 oz
Noob's consumption = 27 oz

Wednesday
7:30 AM - 20 mins, 10.5 oz
9:55 AM (break from training) - 10 mins, 3 oz

I should have pumped at lunch, but I chose to spend the time doing some networking instead. That is one thing I really hate about pumping during events like this: Since I work primarily from home, I usually seize every opportunity I can get to network with people face-to-face, but having to pump means that I spend practically every free minute during the day "networking" with my pump, not my colleagues. But today, I had a friend who I really wanted to catch up with. Pumping could wait.

2:45 PM (break from training) - 10 mins, 3 oz
4:30 PM (after training) - 20 mins, 7 oz
5:00 PM - Nursing! Hubby brought the kids to my hotel to say hello. The visit was brief, as I had to jump on a conference call, but it was wonderful to see them.
11:30 PM - 20 mins, 3.5 oz

Total = 27 oz
Noob's consumption (not counting the nursing session) = 25 oz

As for milk storage, at home, I store milk in the plastic bottles that came with my pump (in the fridge) or glass bottles (in the freezer). This is an eco-friendly and cheap option at home, but it doesn't work well for extended trips. I can't store milk in the plastic bottles, because I need them emptied so I can pump into them again. And glass bottles take up too much room when you're talking about storing nearly 30 oz of milk per day.

Instead, I've been using Lansinoh milk storage bags. I pour the milk into the bags immediately after pumping. That frees up my plastic bottles for more pumping. And they are much more compact than bottles, which comes in handy when traveling home with my milk. On one trip a few weeks ago, I managed to fit 2+ days of milk (over 60 oz) into the small cooler bag that came with my pump.

Anyway, I'm excited for my training to end tomorrow, so I can spend less time with my pump and more time with my kids!

This could only happen to me... while pumping

This week, I had a (rare) onsite visit with a customer. As always, it was a struggle to figure out how to slip away to pump. Actually, I didn't figure it out: I just waited till the end of the work day to pump. Thankfully, Noob is down to just two 6-ounce bottles during the workday, and my supply seems to be a little more resilient with him compared to what it was with Littles. So I'm actually able to pump enough for both his bottles in one session. At least for a few days -- I'm sure it would kill my supply if I kept that up for too long.

Anyway, I brought along my hands-free pumping bra today so that I could pump on my drive home. I pulled over to the most remote corner of the parking lot that I could find. It faced out towards an empty field, and there was just one car nearby. Perfect! So I took off my regular bra, put on my pumping bra, and got my pump all hooked up. Since there was no one nearby, I didn't bother to put on my nursing cover or be particularly discreet while doing all of this.

I looked over to turn on my pump... and saw something in motion out of the corner of my eye. It was that one nearby car, pulling away.

Whoops.

I don't think the occupant could have seen too much, since my car door and my seat would have blocked most of his/her view, but who knows.

What is it about a pumping mom in a parking lot that seems to attract other people like a moth to a flame? Seems like whenever I pump in a parking lot, even if I pick the quietest corner, someone always decides to wander around nearby. C'mon, I'm already pumping in a car for goodness sakes, can't I get a teeny tiny bit of privacy?

Where I pumped this week, last week, and the week before!

No more travel since our return from Seattle, but I've still had to pump on a number of occasions...

This week: In the bathroom at the auto dealership while getting some work done on my car. Fun, fun, fun, as bathroom pumping always is. Still, worth it to avoid having to entertain Noob at the auto dealership for nearly three hours.

Last week: In the pump room of one of our Dallas office buildings...

 

Very basic, just a sofa/padded bench, a table, and a clock. It's directly off a women's bathroom, so there is convenient access to a sink for washing pump parts. There are also lockers in the bathroom, perfect for leaving my pump between sessions... which I realized after I left my pump in the pump room itself after my first session one day, and it disappeared! Imagine my shock when I returned for my next session and couldn't find my pump anywhere. I finally asked the receptionist if anyone had dropped off a black shoulder bag that had been left in the bathroom, and she said, "Yes! The cleaning people turned it in." What the heck? Whatever. After that, I used the lockers.

I also had a rare in-person encounter with another pumping mother :) She was finishing up her session one morning, just as I was coming in for mine. Always nice to know there are more of us out there.

The week before: I was in the other Dallas office building, teaching a training session. Teaching is often tricky because breaks are short and infrequently, and if you're the teacher, you can't exactly slide in late from a pumping session. Thankfully, for this particular training, there were two 2-hour sessions each day with a long lunch break in between. So I could easily pump before the first session and pump during lunch. After the second session, I could either pump again or go home (about 5 minutes away) to nurse Noob. It worked out very well.

Another thing that worked out well was that there was a small conference room directly across the hallway from the room where I was teaching...

It had completely frosted windows and a locking door, so it was perfect for pumping. Less time spent walking to the pump room = more time to pump! I did discover the hard way that the locking door did not unlock when you opened it. So I locked myself out the first time I used it. Whoops. Fortunately, security got it opened again pretty quickly, and I was careful not to make that mistake again!

Ahhhh, pumping. Always an adventure.

Where I Pumped Today returns with a vengeance!

Longtime readers may recall that when I was pumping for Littles, I did a series called "where I pumped today," documenting all the weird and wonderful places that I ended up pumping.

Pumping for Noob is much easier, because most days, I don't have to pump at all! Since we have family watching him at home right now, and I mostly work from home, I'm able to nurse him directly most of the time. It's so much easier than pumping!

Of course, on my business trip to Seattle two weeks ago, I wasn't able to do this, so I did end up pumping most days. To make things even more fun, my meetings during my trip were spread across various locations around the city. I logged a lot of miles with my pump, and pumped in a lot of different places!

On Sunday, I had a meeting in Benaroya Hall, which is normally the home of the Seattle Symphony. Despite the large number of attendees, I was not surprised when I inquired about a pumping room and was told that, well, there were always the less-frequently-used bathrooms on the second floor...

I pumped in bathrooms pretty often with Littles, but never took pictures of them because, well, no one likes to see pictures of bathrooms. But no more sugar-coating. This is the life of a working/pumping mom.

For my first session, I set up in a stall. This is my pretty typical bathroom pumping setup -- I hang the pump from a purse hook, and try not to let my pump parts touch anything. It's really uncomfortable because there is nowhere to sit, so I have to pump while standing. Also, stalls usually don't have power outlets, so I have to use the battery pack for my pump. The suction isn't as strong, so it takes longer to finish pumping.

For my second and third sessions, I got bold and decided to pump out in the main part of the bathroom. This way, I could use a power outlet. Thankfully, no one walked in while I was pumping. There was no way to avoid putting my pump bag on the floor, so I just dealt with it. Ick.

As is always the case with a long day of meetings, just finding the time to pump is a challenge, but I did pretty well this day.

Alright, if you're still with me... no more bathroom pictures. Promise.

On Monday and Tuesday, I worked out of the office building that houses the offices of my Seattle-based co-workers. It has its own pump room, which is typical of the pump rooms in my company's Seattle offices. There are two cubicles with curtains. Each cubicle has a chair and a desk. There is also a small refrigerator for pumped milk and pump parts, and shelves for storing pumps. This room does not appear to be used very much; I never saw another woman's pump or milk.

 

On Wednesday morning, I had a meeting at one of our offices downtown. The pump room in this office was very similar, although it also had a small sink for washing pump parts. I also saw another pump in there -- always nice to know there are other pumping moms out there! Unfortunately, I didn't have time to snap a picture of this one.

On Wednesday afternoon, I had to go to the convention center for another meeting. As I explained in my post about this trip, my company was running a big convention this week (which was part of the reason why I was there in the first place). So I asked about a pump room at the convention information desk, and was happy to find out that one was available! It was a small room, perhaps serving as a storage closet under normal circumstances? But it was furnished with comfortable couches and a table for my pump. Very nice, and much appreciated!

Thursday was my worst day for pumping. I had a meeting starting at 9:30 AM in yet another office building, so I went over a little early and did a quick pump session. This building had pump rooms on three out of four floors, so the rooms just had a single cubicle, rather than the double-cubicle style of most of the other pump rooms in our offices. There was also a sink and a small refrigerator.

 

My meeting ran until about noon, and then I had to grab lunch with my co-workers and head over to a team outing. So I didn't get the chance to pump any more that day :( By the time the outing was over and I got back to the main office, it was nearly 5:30 PM and I was dying to pump! I pumped about 12 ounces in one sitting!

On Friday, thankfully, I was out of meetings and back in the main office, and able to pump regularly again. My supply took a definite hit from the limited pumping over the course of the week, but starting Saturday, I was able to nurse full-time again and now my supply seems to be right back where it needs to be.

I'll be in our Dallas office a lot over the next two weeks, so stay tuned for a few more installments in the "where I pumped today" series!

Seattle

Twice a year, my company holds a big technical training conference for employees in Seattle. It attracts folks from all over the world! My fellow program managers and I don't really need to attend the conference ourselves, but one of the teams that we work closely with sends a number of people. So we run some sessions for them at the conference. Since the sessions bring remote employees like myself into town, our management usually uses that week to hold our quarterly team meetings and other events, so that we don't have to make multiple trips. Works for me!

This summer's conference was scheduled for the last week in July, so I anticipated that it would be my first business trip after my return to work on June 21. In early June, we found out that Hubby would be attending the conference himself. I quickly confirmed with my manager that I would need to be in Seattle as well that week, and that it would be OK for me to bring my family. We started making plans:

• Flights: Noob is home with family for most of the summer -- mostly my mother-in-law. (She's a teacher, so she's off work for the summer.)But the Seattle week happened to be the first of two weeks where my mother planned to come watch Noob. She was flying in from Georgia, and booked her ticket to go to Seattle before coming to Dallas. We also bought a ticket for Littles.
• Hotel: I booked a two-bedroom suite at a Residence Inn very close to my company's office. We've stayed at this same hotel in the past while traveling with Littles, and it always works out well. There is plenty of room to spread out, and having a full kitchen makes meal preparation/eating with kids much easier.
• Child care: Although my mom would be in Seattle with us, she did have some work she needed to do. With Littles out of preschool for the week, we knew that she would need some help with the kids. We used our company's backup care program to locate a nanny, "J," who would come to the hotel in the mornings, allowing my mom to get some work done. My dad also planned to fly out later in the week to help -- he wanted to see the kids anyway, and Seattle has much nicer July weather than Georgia does!

With all our plans in place, we took off for Seattle on Friday night, on Noob's first flight ever!

I brought along about 25 oz of breastmilk. About 15 oz was frozen milk from May, and 10 oz was refrigerated milk that I had pumped over the previous day or two. The frozen milk started to defrost on the way to Seattle, and therefore had to be used within 24 hours. So Noob got bottles all day Saturday, rather than breastfeeding, and I pumped. So at the end of the day, I had 25 oz of refrigerated milk that just had to be used within the next few days. That was more than enough milk for an average day away from Noob, along with some extra in case I fell short pumping.

The extra milk did come in handy, as I had a difficult time with pumping all week. I was in a lot of meetings, and often had to delay or skip pumping sessions. In fact, by Wednesday, I actually had to make a special trip back to the hotel in the middle of the day to drop off the milk I had pumped that morning, in order to ensure that Noob had enough milk to get him through the rest of the day. If I do a trip like this again, I'll definitely pump more in the days before our departure, so that I can bring more refrigerated milk with me as a safety cushion.

The child care arrangements worked out reasonably well. Noob did fine. At his age, as long as he's kept fed and rested, he'll be OK, and J and my mom did a good job of that. Nights were a little tiring for me, as the best way to keep him quiet with so many other people sharing the hotel room with him was to pull him into bed with me and nurse him all night. But that worked out fine, as I still got a good bit of rest, and having him nurse so much was good for my milk supply anyway.

Littles was more of a challenge. J had a different approach to dealing with Littles than Hubby and I do. Not in a bad way, really. To give an example, if I take Littles to the park, she never wants to leave. So a few minutes before it's time to go, I'll tell her, "OK, Littles, 3 more minutes, and then it's time to go home." She'll often respond, "5 more minutes," and I'll say OK. Of course, she has no concept of time, so a minute later, I'll tell her, "OK, 1 more minute," and she'll respond, "2 more minutes." And so on. But this gives her enough of a heads-up that she almost always leaves on her own accord within a reasonable amount of time, even if it's a little longer than 3 minutes. J, on the other hand, went to the park with her and told her "5 more minutes" and then counted down exactly 5 minutes. Again, this wasn't a bad approach, just confusing to Littles because it wasn't what she was used to.

On top of it all, obviously Littles was dealing with being in a different time zone. She was also missing both Hubby and me tremendously. I was working very long hours, and Hubby was actually staying in a different hotel -- he was downtown, close to the convention center, while the kids and I were out in a Seattle suburb close to my office. All in all, it was a bit of a rough week for her, and she definitely was not on her best behavior.

I felt a little bad for my mom. She doesn't get to see the kids all that often, so I know she was really looking forward to spending this time with them, but she ended up getting a bit of a raw deal under the circumstances. For example, when she came in to say "Good morning," Littles would cry "Mama!" and cling to me. It wasn't that she doesn't love her Nana, because she does, but just that she associated my mom with my leaving, and she didn't want me to go. Thankfully, my mom hung in there, and was a huge help on a couple of nights when I had dinner meetings. And then she flew home to Dallas with us and stayed with us the next week, where Littles got back on her normal routine and did much better overall.

All in all, it was a hard week in many ways, but I'm glad we brought the kids along. Really, the only other option would have been to leave my mom at home alone in Dallas with both kids. That might have given Littles a little more consistency, but she still would have been acting out some due to missing Hubby and me -- she does that even when just one of us is away. Pumping would have been a huge struggle for me. And it would have been a lot to ask of my mom, to care for both kids alone for a whole week. At least in Seattle, even working long hours, I could help her in the mornings, as well as most nights. So really, everything worked out as well as it could, under the circumstances!

Big girl

Hard to believe it's been a full year since Littles started at her preschool.

This morning, when I dropped her off, she put her lunch on the shelf and her school bag in her cubby, then pulled out a mat and chose a Montessori work to do. All by herself.

Another girl, B, was hanging back in a corner of the room, fingers in her mouth, watching the other kids, a little unsure of what to do. She is new to the class, so I'm guessing she just recently turned two. She looks so tiny! Watching her this morning, it struck me that that is what Littles looked like a year ago.

And now look at her. My big girl.

Her teachers report that she's doing really well with her own work and is also great at helping with the other kids. She'll stay in the introductory room through the summer, and then move up to one of the primary rooms in the fall.

Just a few months ago, the idea of moving up made me really nervous. I still saw her as that not-quite-two-year-old who I dropped off a year ago. Now I can see that she's ready. She's grown and learned so much in her current class, and we'll miss her teachers tremendously, but I think she'll thrive on the challenges that the primary room presents.

Maternity leave

Long time, no post, I know. I've been busy.

Noob arrived a few days before his due date, on January 31st, and I have been on maternity leave ever since.

I'm lucky to work for a fabulous company that offers up to 20 weeks of maternity leave to new mothers, including 12 weeks fully paid. I'm currently two weeks away from my return-to-work date.

I've enjoyed my maternity leave tremendously. Much more than I did with Littles. Some of this is likely due to our changed family circumstances. When Littles was born, Hubby was working long hours at a startup company, and had a 45-minute commute on top of it. He also traveled monthly. Now, he works shorter hours at an office that's 5 minutes away, and last week was his first business trip since Noob's birth. He is around a lot more, which takes a load off my shoulders. It also makes me happy to see him with his kids so much more. His new job gives him more time to be the amazing daddy he's always been.

Some of this is likely due to the fact that I'm enjoying Noob's entire newborn stage more than I did Littles'. He is a ridiculously easy baby. Not that she was difficult, by any means, but he's even easier. And now I know that even the occasional difficult moments are just... moments. They'll pass quickly. And all those wonderful moments? They'll pass even more quickly.

And some of this, I think, is the confidence that comes with having 2+ years of working motherhood under my belt. I remember checking my work email a lot in the early weeks of my maternity leave with Littles. After all, work was what I had done for, well, my entire career. I didn't know how to let go. I didn't want to let go, because I knew I was good at my job, but I didn't know if I'd be any good at this motherhood thing. In some ways, I didn't want to be good at it, because then maybe I would feel like I should do it full-time. I didn't want to enjoy myself on maternity leave, because then maybe I would think I should make my leave permanent.

Now? I know that I'm good at this motherhood thing. Being home for this long, I've discovered that I really could be a stay-at-home mom. I love it that much. I can't justify my decision to work by saying, "I'm not cut out to stay at home." Because I am.

But that doesn't mean that I will. That's the confidence that I have now that I didn't have with Littles. I can admit to myself that I would love to stay at home, but I can still choose to go back to work -- because I love working, too. And I know my kids will be just fine either way.

This time around, I've barely looked at my work email while on maternity leave. I have a different job right now. It's OK that I'm good at it. It's OK that I love it. It's also OK that it's temporary.