Pumping it

I will warn you upfront that I will be talking about my breasts in this blog. If that disturbs you, you may not want to keep reading. Sorry.

It's unavoidable because Littles' world (and therefore mine) has sort of revolved around my breasts for the last seven months.

When I got pregnant, there was no question in my mind that I would breastfeed my baby. My mom had always extolled the virtues of breastfeeding, so I saw it as something perfectly normal and very beneficial. I knew that the American Association of Pediatricians (AAP) and the World Health Organization (WHO) recommend breastfeeding for the first year, so I I never questioned that I'd continue breastfeeding after I went back to work, too. You just get one of those pump thingies, right? No big deal.

Like so many things when it comes to parenting, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

My college dining hall has these metal milk machines. You raise the big handle and milk comes pouring out. When your glass is full, you put the handle back down and the milk stops coming out. That's sort of what I thought breastfeeding would be like.

Yeah. My breasts are nothing like that.

Pumping is hard work. You can't just sit down and raise a handle and fill up a bottle or two or however much you need. You have to pump consistently and regularly. And even then, as the Rolling Stones once said (although probably not in relation to breastfeeding), you can't always get what you want.

Through trial and error, I've found that it works best if I pump four times during the nine hours a day (8:30 AM to 5:30 PM) that Littles is with her nanny. My normal pump schedule is 9 AM, noon, 2 PM, and 4 PM. I usually pump for at least 30 mins, sometimes 45-60 mins, at each session. You do the math. That means I need to spend roughly a third of my workday hooked up to my pump. Some days, it comes closer to half of my workday.

Luckily, as I mentioned in my last post, I work from home about 75% of the time, so this is annoying but doable. The challenge is when I have to go into my office or go onsite with a customer.

At my office, there is a lovely pump room. It is a small, clean room that locks from the inside and has a dedicated refrigerator so I don't have to gross out my (predominantely male) co-workers by storing Littles' "lunch" right next to theirs. The only issue with pumping while in the office is finding time. I'm usually there to meet with someone, and it's not always easy or convenient to excuse myself for pump breaks. I do cut back on my office days, only pumping three times for 20-30 minutes, but that's still a significant amount of time spent alone in the pump room.

Of course, that's nothing compared to the challenges of pumping while onsite with customers. It's rare for me to work multiple times with the same customer, so each person I meet is basically a stranger to me. Asking a stranger (who is almost always male), "Hey, can you give me 30 minutes to pump milk out of my breasts?" is about as embarrassing as asking said stranger, "Excuse me, do you have a tampon? I just got my period."

So I usually find an excuse to slip away without mentioning what I'm doing. This means that I often end up pumping in my car. It's actually not as bad as it sounds. I look for a remote corner of the parking lot, put on a cover in case someone walks by, crank up my radio, and pump away.

Last week, I visited a customer located in downtown San Francisco. Driving there is a huge pain, so I took BART (the subway). That meant no car to pump in, so I ended up pumping in the only other private place you're guaranteed to find almost anywhere: the bathroom. Now that is as bad as it sounds. There are never chairs in there (other than the obvious one, but that's gross), so I have to stand or squat the whole time, which is really uncomfortable. I feel bad for Littles, having to eat food that I made in a bathroom, for crying out loud. And it's embarrassing for me. My pump makes a lot of noise, and I often wonder what the other women think when they walk into the bathroom and hear it.

So why do I do it? Why don't I just skip pumping for a day or two when I have to visit a customer? I'll talk about the reasons in my next entry. Right now, I have to go pump. (Did I mention that in addition to the four sessions during the workday, I also try to pump at least once at night? Not to mention the weekends...)