First business trip

Tonight is my first night away from Littles. She's sleeping at home right now, and I'm in Seattle on a business trip.

Luckily, it's a short trip. I'll be home tomorrow night, although not until after Littles is asleep.

Still, the logistics of getting away even just for 24 hours can be overwhelming. I had to find time to pack -- no more waiting till the last minute, lest Littles slip into "Mommy Hold Me" mode at that exact moment. I agonized over how much milk to take out of the freezer. Since I've never been away from Littles for a full day, I have to guess at how much milk she drinks over the course of a day. I booked a hotel room at a Residence Inn, since I know it will have a full kitchen that will let me chill my freezer packs overnight, ensuring I can keep my pumped milk cold tomorrow.

Leaving home was rough. Littles crawled after me with a confused expression as I walked out the front door, and I briefly flirted with the idea of tucking her in my suitcase and taking her with me. (Then I remembered that my pump takes up half my suitcase.)

I've done this San Jose to Seattle hop many, many times, including for my very last business trip pre-Littles. I used to have it down pat. Not anymore. For starters, they've completely reconfigured Terminal C at SJC airport in the year or so since I was last there. I almost panicked when I couldn't find my favorite dinner spot -- turns out it's now behind security, instead of before it.

I was very pleased to see that they've finally gotten a Preferred board at the Avis in Seattle, so I can go directly to my car without having to check in with an Avis agent (a process that has cost me many an hour waiting in line, usually at 1 AM when my flight has been delayed and I just want to get to my hotel). And I had a giggle when I saw that this Avis location, which used to always upgrade me to Hummer H3's, decided to give me a Prius this time :)

Some things never change, like the incompetence of TSA. I completely forgot to put my toiletries in a Zip-loc bag and was sure I'd get busted, particularly since my breast pump (which apparently looks like a bomb on the x-ray machine, based on previous TSA experiences) and all my bottles for milk collection (which they could have no way of knowing were empty) were in the same bag. But they waved it through without a secondary inspection.

I grabbed my dinner (forgetting to pay with my corporate Amex card, which is practically dusty from inactivity) and was heading over towards my gate when I saw a family with a baby right around Littles' age, and I teared up instantly. It just doesn't feel right, being without her. The family ended up sitting a couple of rows in front of me on the flight, and the baby's coos and babbles bothered me. Not in an annoyed sort of way, like loud babies on planes used to bother me as a business traveler, but in a my-heart-is-breaking sort of way.

The business of my trip presents all sorts of challenges, and I should really be focusing on those. Instead, I'm focusing on the happy Littles wallpaper on my computer.

I can't wait to get home tomorrow night. I'm going straight to Littles' room, just to see her sleeping and hear her breathing and smell the lavender from her shampoo.